East of Hezmana
Afterword from the Right Brain
Feb. 24, '02
East of Hezmana was the product of 12 days of intensive writing. It's kind of funny to go back and read it now and I think, shouldn't there be more? It felt like I wrote a bloody screenplay. And then I think, but hey, it only took 12 days to write and, frell me, it's not like I have a day job. And then I think, you know, I know a nice hotel in Nicaragua with a parrot named Enrique which inevitably leads me to wonder where my dead, stuffed parrot Paulie got to and since it's been several smoking craters since I last saw him, I fear he's lost for good. I think the last time I saw him was in Brasilia. And that just ended badly. For the Brazilians mainly, I was, of course, unscathed. And by that time I get back to it I've totally forgotten what the genesis of the storyline for EOH (which does sound sort of like a whooshing grunt of pain, rather like taking a battering ram to the midsection) was.
East of Hezmana was meant, originally, as a spec script for a TV script writing competition. Which the Whole Brain did not win. Nor did the Whole Brain even get a mention. Rat frelling bastards. The Whole Brain demands a recount. The Whole Brain is very proud of East of Hezmana. We decided to post it as a fan fic and see what real live Farscape fans thought and we now console ourselves with the thought that it is likely the story is too insular to the Farscape mythology to make sense to any reader who didn't know Farscape from a hole in the ground. So the judges just didn't get it and we're still brilliant. And modest to boot.
When the Whole Brain first heard about the writing competition we decided to go for it and Farscape was the unanimous choice of show, what we then realized was we only had twelve days to come up with a story, and script it and print it and stick it in the mail. We finished at 6 am on the morning it was due. I'd never written a TV script before and it was rather like TV writing boot camp. Intense and ultimately rewarding. It's an insanity I now look forward to visiting often.
The Right Brain was just, in the last six months or so, converted to Scaperism. Not having had the Sci Fi channel before I was deprived of this remarkable show and so when we got down to writing Farscape, I'd been ingesting massive quantities of Moya and crew and it was all fresh in the Right Brain's brain. However, I had not seen any of the episodes set on Talyn. So, of course, we picked the crew on Talyn to write about. I had read the transcripts so I wasn't just winging it but it's never the same to read the transcripts as to see the eps on TV. Especially with this crop of amazing actors saying the lines. In fact, the Whole Brain would like to humbly ask if Mr. Wayne Pygram would ever consider, just a tiny little thing, for like half a tick, taping Scorpius saying the line "Something strange is afoot at the Circle K." The Whole Brain would be eternally grateful. Some things are just better acted out.
I don't remember how we got round to Stark getting food poisoning as the sort of catalyst to this story. It was most likely due to too many hours of radio goulash at Starbucks. I do know that I simply adore Stark and I channel him terrifyingly well. And he's just brilliant to write and I'd kiss Paul Goddard's feet if it wasn't for this damn restraining order. I also rant well so I'll go ahead and take credit for the John Crichton rants in the script and there are a couple good ones. I think they are mostly mine, but the black bra bit, well that was all the Left Brain. I love the black bra bit. And my single favorite line that I wrote and it's equally amusing to me if in context or taken completely out of context and I say it often and giggle to myself, is Stark's line "My arms are stuck to my body." I'm giggling now as I write that again. Well, that and John asking Harvey if he's got a hot date with a gila monster. I laughed for quite a while after I wrote that. But, no, the Stark line wins because I can just hear his confused, panicked wail in my head every time I read it or say the line. And I CAN'T STOP GIGGLING. No, I don't need medication, thank you very much.
As for the story itself, I do remember that I was personally slightly bothered by the fact that John's feelings on Zhann's death were never quite brought up. While I don't feel that they needed to be dwelt on excessively, I did wonder how he felt and knowing John and how much he tends to take upon his shoulders, I suspected that it was something that maybe he didn't express outwardly but perhaps it gnawed at him a bit at a time, someplace deep down inside. Most likely right next to where the vicious little critter that was created when Aeryn died chews on him. I don't think that even with Aeryn alive and warm and next to him, would that gaping, bloody, raw and bitter wound ever heal. Beautiful, tormented man. I adore writing him as well. Come to think of it the only Farscape character I don't enjoy writing is Rygel. To write a character the Right Brain must hear him/her/it in her head and Rygel's voice is nowhere to be found.
Now the rather long Crais and Aeryn conversation in act two was quite a sticking point for me and it, in fact, took several days to write. I'd spend days wrangling with it and dream about the conversation at night and in the midst of one long, long day of writing, I erased the whole thing and just had Aeryn pull out her pulse pistol and shoot Crais. While I admit it was a satisfying resolution to the frustrating problem it didn't fit in the story very well and I had to go back and rewrite a couple more times. Don't get me wrong, I love Crais. Magnificent character. But that conversation was just ticking Aeryn off and hey, she's the chick with the gun, who am I to tell her what to do?
The Left Brain and I are particularly pleased with the twist in act four. Mainly because, going through, writing the 'A' storyline up through act 3, WE didn't even know that it was John's pain manifesting itself. It's simply brilliant to me how the characters wrote the story themselves, not even revealing to, us, the 'writer' until the end what the truth was. The upside of that is that the twist isn't given away in the first three acts. Unless you look closely, and even then you have to know what you're looking for. And if you say you saw it coming, well, I don't believe you. **harumph**
The Whole Brain is currently visiting the insanity of teleplay writing again. We are working on two more Farscape spec scripts as I write this. Well not exactly as I write this because, I'm not that talented, but I took a break from writing them to write this and I'm sure everybody who reads this rambling mess will be so glad I did. ("Get back to work, you frellnik! Give us something worth reading.") I don't know how we'll use them. If they end up in other writing competitions, perhaps one more friendly to genre shows, should such a thing exist, or if we will send them out as fan fiction. Guess we'll all have to wait and see. (please, please, goddess send the whole brain an agent.)
Thanks for reading and thanks to Ally and the BBQ for their excellent treatment of the Whole Brain and East of Hezmana. You're all wonderful.
East of Hezmana
Afterword from the Left Brain
March 25, '02
So, uhm, how do you follow a rant from the Right Brain? Some people's writing partners. sheesh.
East of Hezmana....South of Dren....In a town called Yotz. Good Lord, what were we thinking? There I am, Left Brain extraordinaire, happily blowing off writing an episode for the Virtual Season of La Femme Nikita (shameless plug) and I come across a site for a screenwriting competition. I couldn't do the logical thing and look for a genre fiction site, noooooooooooooo. I've got to find one of them "respectable" competitions. That'll learn me. And can I just add how irritating it is to actually have to capitalize while typing? i have an ee cummings thing going on when i work the 'net, but i digress. So this site, it's one of those places that thinks "write for an emmy-winning show" is a good tip. Yeah, whatever jackass, blow me. But the challenge sounded like fun, in a really sick and twisted kinda way, and hell, it's put up or shut up, right? So we did.
12 days of non-stop Farscape. It was like few other experiences in my life. When I was a kid, we had copies of sci-fi fiction magazines all over the place. The hard core stuff too, like Isaac Asimov's, Arthur C. Clarke and Ray Bradbury. Dad was a nuclear physicist, a bonified rocket scientist, and sci-fi was his thing. I've been reading it ever since. I couldn't get my hands on enough sci-fi and fantasy fiction. And then I saw Star Wars on the big screen the week after it was released. It was my 12th birthday. And if you've never seen a film at Graumann's Chinese Theater in Hollyweird (now Mann's), brother, are you missing out. I've been a geek ever since. But, just for clarification, a hip geek, versus, say, a full-on, i-camped-out-for-5-weeks-to-buy-tickets-for-fill-in-the-blank-film kinda geek. I'm a firm believer in the "evolve or become a petroleum product" theory of music, film, life, etc. Happily residing in my cd case are Incubus, Tool, Stain'd and Linkin Park...right next to Alanis Morrissette and Dave Matthews, U2 and Coldplay...right next to Nitin Sawheny, Skindive, Auteur de Lucie and Mandalay. Evolve or die. So here comes the Farscape evolution, turning the genre upside and then drop-kicking it across the playing field. Fear the O'Bannon! I gotta write me some'a' that.
For the first time in my life, the idea that I could honestly describe myself as a writer with a "day job" seemed tangible and plausible. And I do it now. My day job pays my bills, just barely I might add and could somebody hire us please, but my writing fuels my fire. The Right Brain and I just finished our second Farscape story, also in spec script form, last night, which is what reminded me I needed to write this forward, er, afterward, yeah.
Who would not want to write in the Farscape universe? It's frelling fabulous! I think it's the only "genre" series that I've ever watched in my life that didn't blow the first season. And the angst. Sweet Jesus. And it's not just there in the "obvious" A-line of Crichton and Aeryn and Crichton's struggles to go home, if he even should or can go home. It's in D'argo and Chiana, D'argo and Jothee, Chiana and Jothee, Chiana and Nerri, Stark. Hell, Stark's an adjective unto himself. And Rygel. We won't talk about Rygel. Jool is completely unexplored territory, and then there's Crais, Crais and Crichton, Crais and Aeryn, Aeryn and the Peacekeepers, Aeryn and Chiana, Jool and Chiana, D'argo and Crichton, Pilot and Crichton, Pilot and Aeryn...well, you get the idea. Even the villains aren't narrow and one-dimensional. Scorpius is a psychologist's dream....or nightmare, depending on how you look at it. Why go anywhere else for a more satisfying write? And may I just add, poor thing, that the Right Brain's first experience with Farscape was "Revenging Angel". No wonder she was so confused.
Writing with the Right Brain is like writing inside my own head. We scare we. We finish each other's sentences, verbatim I might add. Flesh out each other's storylines, dialogue bits. It's truly disturbing at times. But man, are we entertaining to watch. The Whole Brain met our dear, dear friend, Jul, aka a brain bit, at the Starbucks that we hang at. We're just getting into the convoluted plot of EOH when Jul says, "So how did Aeryn die, anyway?" The Left Brain then launches into a reader's digest version of everything up to the season finale with Scorpy John (eeewwww) and in between storytelling, The Left Brain, and of course the Right Brain, notice the people sitting behind Jul are paying an inordinate amount of attention to our conversation. 45 minutes later, I complete my tale, replete with crucial plot interjections from the Right Brain, with "so anyway, that's how Aeryn died". We three giggle and notice our "fans" are gone. Between the story structure conversation and the recap of the series, they probably walked away kicking themselves for not asking for our autographs, which just really cracked us up. And don't even get us started channeling Mulder and Scully. We can get lost in that universe for days. "And be sure to catch next week's episode of MysteryScienceTheater2000, when the Whole Brain does X-Files."
EOH left me wanting more. More Farscape, more writing, more eps, more, more, more, now damnit. I could happily spend the rest of my life writing eps of my favorite shows with The Right Brain. In fact, I fully intend to. Anybody out there know any good agents?
