Farscape


I SHRINK THEREFORE I AM

Episode 10408

Original USA Air Date: August 2, 2002



written by

Christopher Wheeler

directed by

Rowan Woods

Season #4: Episode 8



© 1998     The Jim Henson Company, Inc.






COLD OPEN

EXT SPACE - CGI

Stock transition. Transport pod en route. John's voice over before cutting to pod interior.

JOHN [V.O.]

Yo, Pilot, you there?

TRANSPORT POD

John pilots from the right seat, Noranti hovering, literally, behind him.

JOHN

Testing, one, two, three. Uno, dos, tres.

John pauses a beat for a response. Noranti hovers closer, arms outstretched before her, hands hovering over his shoulders.

JOHN

Pilot, I got a... ton of groceries to unload.

Cut to close on John's slightly irritated expression, Noranti's withered palms hovering fractionally above his shoulders.

JOHN

Pilot?

She moves her hands away and leans in over his left shoulder.

JOHN

(muttering)
Damn, I figured they'd be in range.

NORANTI

Are you eager to see the others again?

JOHN

Nah, it hasn't been that long.

NORANTI

Still... you miss Aeryn.

At Noranti's prompting, images of Aeryn flicker across John's mind's-eye.

[Shot list: DWTB/A1: John and Aeryn kissing on the dance floor at the 'wedding reception'; John kissing the elusive Aeryn in the hangar bay. UNAIRED S4: John nuzzles Aeryn's neck. DWTB/TAG: Aeryn's final goodbye from the prowler. ITLD2WiSC/Tag: Close profile of Aeryn, eyes downcast. DMD/1: John/Harvey & Aeryn kiss in the neural cluster. UNAIRED S4: Close-up 2-shot, J&A, his fingers brushing her lips. DWTB/A1: J&A kissing, wedding reception.]

NORANTI

Or don't you?

Her hands return to his shoulders, kneading slightly while he recovers from being blind-sided by the rush of memories.

JOHN

Damn, it's been a few arns since I thought about her.

He fishes around in his jacket pocket, withdrawing something while her fingers continue to work on his shoulders.

NORANTI

Then my remedy must be working.

He brings cupped hands to his face and inhales deeply, triggering the same flood of memories. Fade in from white-out and John rubs his face against his cupped hands, rubs his nose and his eyes. Shaking his head as he lifts it.

NORANTI

Take it for as long as you need it.

JOHN

(coughs)
I don't...
(inhales, clears throat)
need it.
(beat)
It just takes the edge off.

MOYA - THE DEN / TRANSPORT POD

Close on Pilot's right claws, both contained inside large manacles and resting idle on the console. Sound of heavy menacing breathing in the background. Pilot's voice, tentatively responding as shot pans left.

Scene cuts between the Den and the transport pod with some dialogue over comms in each shot.

PILOT

Crichton?

JOHN

(over comms)
Pilot, there you are. It's about time. Hey, look, get all hands down to the hangar.

Brief look at a very relaxed John aboard the pod.

JOHN

I got a boatload of crap for you guys--

PILOT

Unfortunately, nobody is available to... assist you at the moment.

JOHN

Well, what are they doing, watching Jeopardy?

Noranti laughs silently.

JOHN

(over comms)
Get 'em off their butts.
(beat)
Let me talk to Cap'n James T. D'Argo.

In the Den we get a shot of Sikozu and Chiana, both slumped unconscious on the floor of the Den, arms also encased in the heavy manacles. Sound of Noranti laughing over comms before cutting back to the Pod. John glances over his shoulder, appreciating this reception of his wit. They're 'both' a little stoned it seems. [John's mental state translated to hers? We didn't see her take anything. Hm.]

NORANTI

(laughing)
Captain James T. D'Argo.

PILOT

Ka D'Argo is currently... helping Rygel with his... laundry. And Aeryn's writing some...

Shot pulling back from close on Pilot reveals the heavy breathing 'company'. Abruptly the company exudes a heavy cutting blade from an armored gauntlet with a 'snicking' sound. Pilot misses only a beat, a nervous glance toward the blade.

PILOT

poetry.

Appropriately cautioned, John innocently fishes for more information.

JOHN

Uh-huh. What about, ah... Chiana and Sikozu?

Long on the Den showing the two girls slumped at the foot of the console and two dark armored figures standing before the restrained Pilot.

PILOT

Enjoying each other's company. Preparing a meal for... everyone but Rygel. He's... not hungry.

JOHN

Right, well, tell him to save me a plate. I'm starving. Pod out.

John disengages comms, stands and crosses to the forward control station.

NORANTI

Now, isn't that lovely? Everyone is getting on so well.

JOHN

Crickets... something's wrong. Maybe the game's not over with, or... Scorpy's really loose on the ship.

A beat and John cocks his head, spying something through the forward portal.

JOHN

Bingo.

Close on forward portal, the view into space as the pod rises over Moya's nose. A large beetle-like ship crouches against her hull on the hamman side.

JOHN

Moya's got gatecrashers.

Cut to close on John as he examines the ship, eyes hard. Appropriately dramatic music rises over the silence and John, oddly, begins to 'sing along' with the music, tongue matching the instrumental beat as he moves quickly to the back of the pod.

MOYA - COMMAND / MOYA - THE DEN / TRANSPORT POD

Scene cuts between Command, the Den and the transport pod.

Close on the strategy table. The same wanted holo-beacon from Crichton Kicks. Grayza sending out the reward announcement. As she speaks, cut to long across the floor of Command. Aeryn, lying on her side, arms trapped in a pair of heavy manacles, abruptly resumes consciousness. Behind her, D'Argo, arms similarly restrained, sits propped against the table.

Aeryn briefly examines the cuffs then makes to crawl toward D'Argo.

GRAYZA

An unprecedented reward is offered for information leading to the capture of John Crichton. If he is taken alive, 15 million currency pledges. If dead--

Before Grayza can finish, cut to long across Command, two armored figures in the room, one leaning over the beacon, another entering carrying a large cylinder. When the intruders speak their voices are muffled, distorted by the armored full head pieces they wear.

AXIKOR

Bay 2.

HENCHMAN

(over comms)
Acknowledged. Prepare Loading Bay 2 for landing.

PILOT

Crichton, I've... prepared Bay 2 for landing.

In the pod, Noranti is finishing tying her left foot to the pod controls. John testing the chakkan oil cartridge of his pistol with his tongue before slamming it back into place.

JOHN

Yeah, just give me a minute to get these crates locked down.

NORANTI

My mixture is ready.

JOHN

You sure you're gonna be okay out there?

Noranti eyes a small blob of something in her fingers.

NORANTI

This'll keep me in a vacuum coma for at least three arns. It's most relaxing. You should try it sometime.

Curtly responding as she pops it into her mouth, adjusting the cuffs of the pressure suit he's pulled on. [Tearing sound reminds us someone invented Velcro in the UTs.]

JOHN

No, thanks. I'm not a big fan of vacuum.

On Command, the lead invader, a fully armored form with three red illuminated stripes on his left shoulder; a 'cape' over the right, watches the approaching pod through the forward portal [CGI element; pod transiting a blue/white nebula cloud].

AXIKOR

Stand ready. He'll dock within 30 microts.
(beat)
Wait! His approach vector's wrong.
(to henchman)
Evacuate our boarding craft. We're coming under attack.

Out the forward portal, the transport pod approaches close enough to cause vibration before arcing past and out of sight.

AXIKOR

Full defensive alert.

EXT SPACE - CGI

The transport pod rockets toward the invading vessel crouched against Moya's hull, intercept course. Seconds later the pod impacts with the vessel, massive explosion results and the invading vessel fragments, blowing outward.

MOYA - COMMAND

Everyone standing staggers, raising arms to shield against the intense fireball.

Whiteout to...

END COLD OPEN

ROLL < A HREF="S4Credits.html" TARGET="_blank" >OPENING CREDITS< /A >

ACT I

MOYA - COMMAND

Two of the invaders, Axikor and an unnamed henchman stand over D'Argo and Aeryn.

AXIKOR

He's destroyed our boarding craft. I begin to see why his bounty is so high.

D'Argo grins; nodding slightly. [And yep. That's pride.]

AXIKOR

Keep searching all tiers. He's aboard somewhere.

[ As each bad guy talks, the red 'eyes' in his helmet flash in sync with his words. ]

HENCHMAN

Nobody could have survived that explosion. Crichton must be dead.

AXIKOR

Prak! Crichton's alive... and ingenious.

Aeryn's eyebrows arch grandly, her head cocks to the side, seems in grudging and surprised agreement with that.

MOYA - ACCESS HATCH

Outfitted in full pressure suit and helmet, Crichton crawls through a small access hatch into the narrow confines of a duct, he pulls his legs inside and waits for the hatch to seal. The sound of air hissing as the space pressurizes. He releases the seal on the helmet, lifts the faceplate and removes it, sighing quietly as he looks around the darkened space.

MOYA - CORRIDOR

Pan down from the arched ceiling to two of the henchman moving through an open doorway.

HENCHMAN

Tier 9 clear. Moving to tier 10.

MOYA - COMMAND

Only one bounty hunter remains in Command, guarding three of Moya's crew. Aeryn sits off his right shoulder, looking up from a chair pushed up to the rear control console, her manacled wrists resting atop.

Axikor taps a few keys on a control pad strapped to his forearm, the tapping accompanied by electronic beeping and then an abrupt high-pitched electronic 'zapping' sound. Aeryn winces in obvious discomfort, stifling a moan.

Propped on top of the strategy table, Rygel, his body contained inside one of the manacles with only his head showing above the 'wrist' opening, decides this is a good time to let his moral indignation show.

RYGEL

Who the frell are you?

AXIKOR

Your captor.

RYGEL

(sniffs)
Only temporarily.

AXIKOR

Let's not prolong this.

Axikor snags a comms badge from the edge of the strategy table. He walks toward D'Argo who is kneeling on the floor, manacled wrists resting on one of the small backless chairs.

AXIKOR

Tell Crichton to come to the Command.

D'ARGO

Tell him yourself.

AXIKOR

The longer it takes for me to capture Crichton… the greater the likelihood that one of you will be damaged.

AERYN

Well, there's no likelihood we're going to help you.

AXIKOR

You're certain you won't cooperate?

D'ARGO

Why don't you come and undo these cuffs and just see how much I want to cooperate.

Axikor taps the keypad on his forearm again. The electronic 'zapping' sound is followed by D'Argo's involuntary flinch of pain.

MOYA - AIRDUCT / COMMAND

John arrives 'above' Command, crawling through the narrow confines of the duct. He peers down through a grating in the ceiling, the light from below illuminating his face.

The scene cuts between Command and the air duct, John watching through the grating, overhearing the conversation below.

AERYN

Leave him alone. You gain nothing.

AXIKOR

Probably, but it costs me nothing.

The bounty hunter raises his arm; a thick blade pops from the armor encasing his forearm with a loud 'snicking' sound. He brings the edge of the blade close to D'Argo's face.

AXIKOR

I could improve those hideous Luxan features.

D'Argo barely bothers to scowl. Axikor is boring him.

AXIKOR

That would be messier than pain cuffs, but far more entertaining.

Axikor moves back to the table, blindly tapping the purloined comms badge.

AXIKOR

Crichton! Surrender at once. You won't be harmed. We want you alive... but if you resist... we'll take it out on your shipmates.

Axikor taps the keypad.

AXIKOR

Like so.

Electronic 'zapping' sound and Aeryn flinches badly, a groan of pain leaking through gritted teeth. In the duct John looses Winona, but a henchman arrives before he can do anything rash.

HENCHMAN

Sir, nothing can be salvaged of our boarding craft. Should I re-enable one of the transport pods?

AXIKOR

No. It's slow and weaponless.

John eyes the pistol with discontent, returning it to his holster.

AXIKOR

We'd be a target for every other bounty hunter in this sector.

HENCHMAN

I'll send a transmission to the Command Carrier, requesting pickup.

AXIKOR

It's too soon. We'll tell Grayza to come for us only when we've captured Crichton.

Lying on his side in the duct, John's attention seems split between what's going on below him and the small laka carcass being twirled in his fingers.

HENCHMAN

As you wish.

The Henchman turns to leave. In the duct, John presses the laka to his face and inhales quietly; random images of Aeryn flit across his mind's-eye.

[And here is where I get 'really' confused. [Shot List: IP2IA/Tag: Aeryn weeps over a very deceased John Crichton. IP2IA/CO: Aeryn with 'Harvey's' hand wrapped tightly around her throat. PROMISES/CO: John holds a very ill Aeryn in his arms, before the really bad news. IP1DD/Tag or IP2IA/CO: Close on Aeryn's internal struggle, a single tear breaks. IP2IA/4: In the gun turret, Aeryn weeps for her loss. DWTB: John holds a wounded Aeryn in his arms. THM: Close on Aeryn, Moya filtering poisons. UNKS1: Aeryn.] Okay, these have to be symbolic moments and not necessarily direct memories. 'k?]

The final images fading away over John stretched on his side still sniffing quietly.

The henchman pauses at the open doorway, close on the side of his helmet as a tiny light flashes; some enhancement in his armor allowing him to overhear the small sounds that John is making in the duct.

Apparently not quietly enough because in command, even with unassisted hearing both D'Argo and Aeryn exhibit signs that they are hearing 'something' from overhead. Tense silence, both D and Aeryn look 'down' quickly. D'Argo 'sniffs' once or twice, either trying to scent John [which would be stupid] or to 'cover' the noises he's making. Axikor doesn't fall for it either way.

AXIKOR

Silence!

The henchman turns slowly, head up toward the ceiling, his enhanced hearing also detecting a slow heartbeat.

AXIKOR

(to henchman)
You have something?

HENCHMAN

Maybe.

In the duct, John is getting a sense that he may have been detected and 'stills', rolling onto his back away from the open grate, breathing slow and deep, eyes rolling 'up' into his head. Riding the high as quietly as possible.

D'ARGO

Aeryn... you know what? I think we should negotiate.

D'ARGO

No. I really think we should negotiate.

AERYN

(realizing)
Right.

Aeryn immediately begins speaking loudly in the clicking sounds of Sebacean, D'Argo follows with the guttural sounds of his native tongue. Rygel catches on quickly and begins speaking also, his language a confusing gargle. The combination drowns out all other sounds on Command. John takes the offered cover to pull himself together and get away.

AXIKOR

Silence!

HENCHMAN

It's no good. He's gone.

AXIKOR

But we know he's in the ducts.

HENCHMAN

We could pursue him... up there.

AXIKOR

Only by making ourselves too vulnerable. No, we'll draw him out... bring him to us. Search this tier!

Henchman grunts an assent and departs.

AXIKOR

(Rygel)
You know your comrade. Tell me... which one does he care for most?

RYGEL

(laughing)
Me, of course.

Axikor growls quietly, leaning his weight against the table, scrutinizing Rygel closely, then 'hears' Rygel's thoughts.

RYGEL

'Aeryn of course, probably Chiana next.'

AXIKOR

Where will Crichton go now?

RYGEL

Center Chamber for a nice hot Raslak.

Same thing, a bit of concentration and Axikor can 'hear' the Dominar's thoughts.

RYGEL

'He'll go to his quarters, gather all his weapons-- that Tarkan shield belt should help the odds. Then he'll head for Pilot's Den.'

Rygel gets a bit uncomfortable having the guy looming over him and staring at him like he's a mid-afternoon snack.

RYGEL

What are you staring at, dranuk?

MOYA - CORRIDOR

One of the henchman enters around a curve, pausing as Axikor's directive filters through over comms.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
Find Crichton's quarters. Search for weapons and a shielding device.

MOYA - AIRDUCT

In the overhead air duct, John listens in.

HENCHMAN

Crichton's quarters. Acknowledged.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
He'll also try to free the Pilot. Isn't that right, Crichton?

MOYA - THE DEN

Axikor's orders continue over comms, providing direction to the two henchmen guarding Pilot, Chiana and Sikozu. The latter two now sitting back to back a short distance away.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
Secure the Pilot's Den... be ready.

HENCHMAN

Got it.

CHIANA

(quietly)
Hey... if I can distract him... can you make a break for it? You know that run-on-walls trick thing? You know? Go hide in the neural cluster or something.

SIKOZU

Not with these frelling cuffs on.

CHIANA

These what cuffs?!
(beat)
I am so glad we extended your vocabulary.

SIKOZU

(to Henchman)
Listen.
(aside to Chiana)
Play along.

CHIANA

Oh, okay.

SIKOZU

I have a very compelling argument for letting us go.

CHIANA

Hey... Soldier Boy. Come here.

One of the henchmen approaches, kneeling beside them.

CHIANA

Hey, don'cha get... hot in that armor?

HENCHMAN

Are you trying to entice me?

CHIANA

Maybe.

HENCHMAN

If I wanted you... I'd take you.

MOYA - THE DEN / AIRDUCT

Still in the ducts, John listens in.

HENCHMAN

Should I show you?

CHIANA

Yeah.

SIKOZU

Leave her alone!

HENCHMAN

Or maybe both of you.

PILOT

No, please! Don't hurt them!

HENCHMAN

Quiet.

Electronic 'zapping' sound, and Pilot groans in pain.

John backs away, regrouping.

MOYA - CARGO AREA

A large black bag falls from the ceiling to the top of a cargo container; the stripped off pressure suit follows. John drops to the floor behind them, drawing his weapon before standing.

He throws the bag and the pressure suit onto the floor and edges further into the room. Noting a deactivated DRD, taps it slightly with the muzzle, no response.

Dramatic theme music builds in the silence and John again 'sings' along with the instrumental beat as he moves quickly to the closed door, crouching to the side as it swings open on his command, and slipping cautiously into the passage.

MOYA - COMMAND

Axikor drops the comms badge onto the strategy table. It chirrups brightly.

AXIKOR

Report. Any sign of Crichton?

HENCHMAN

(over comms)
I'm in his quarters. He hasn't come near.

MOYA - CONTAINMENT CELL

John enters the open darkened space, Winona extended.

JOHN

(whispering)
Scorp?

With nowhere to hide inside the cell, John comes to a logical and irritated conclusion.

JOHN

Scorpius, you son of a bitch.

He turns toward the sound of an opening door, and moves quickly to the side of the cell, presses his back against the wall.

One of the henchmen moves into the doorway, peers into the dark cell without entering and moves on. Appropriate menacing raspy breathing keeps John pressed to the wall until guy is gone.

Breathing again, John moves further into the cell. He kneels down, tapping the backside of the inactive red, white and blue DRD with the pistol.

JOHN

(whispering)
1812.

1812 reactivates, antenna illuminated and chirrups worriedly.

JOHN

(chuckles)
Playin' possum, huh?

1812 squeaks an assent. John looks up and around.

JOHN

You think you can get any of your brothers up and runnin'?

More chirruping, followed by a 'nod' of antennas, from which John takes heart. [Does he understand 1812, or is he just fakin' it?]

JOHN

Good boy. Be quiet, though. No singing. I'm gonna go scrounge up a blunderbuss.

MOYA - COMMAND

Axikor paces, growling angrily.

D'ARGO

Oh, relax. You'll see Crichton sooner or later.

AERYN

A microt before he kills you.

AXIKOR

I admire such confidence from the weak and helpless.

MOYA - NEURAL CLUSTER

Close on 1812 working on an inactive DRD. Soft metallic clattering and pan R and up to John, back against the central nexus, working on something hidden by part of the nexus wall.

SCORPIUS [O.S.]

John--

John puts down what he's working on and grimly unholsters Winona as Scorpius comes into view.

SCORPIUS

I'm not your enemy, be calm.

JOHN

Oh, I'm calm. I'm just a little twitchy 'cause, uh, you sold us out.

SCORPIUS

Nothing of the kind.

JOHN

What, it's just a coinkidink you're runnin' on the loose?

SCORPIUS

The only reason I escaped capture is because the bounty hunters do not know I'm here. By the time they got to my cell I was not in it.

JOHN

Now, how'd that happen? Oh, I know, I know. We forgot to lock the door.

SCORPIUS

The cell door was wholly inadequate.

JOHN

What are you sayin'... you opened it with your bare hands?

SCORPIUS

Gloved hands, yes.

JOHN

You mean you could'a got out... anytime you wanted?

SCORPIUS

I never wanted to.

Scorpius' apparent 'sincerity' affects John enough to lower his weapon, returns to work on whatever he was working on. Scorpius takes the opportunity to move closer.

SCORPIUS

But by the time our attackers arrived, I had to. Whoever they are... they have managed to capture Moya's crew in a matter of microts, but they must not capture you.

JOHN

I don't cut and run.

SCORPIUS

We could not run... if we wished. They've immobilized all escape craft with magnetic locks, and disabled the DRDs, all except for that one.

JOHN

Yeah, 1812's on a different wave length. He's not from Moya.

SCORPIUS

But if he restarts the others we will have more firepower.

JOHN

I don't have time for that.

He lifts and shoulders his blunderbuss of choice, leveling the 'Gatling gun' pulse rifle at Scorpius' face.

JOHN

I'm goin'... wabbit hunting.

Unfazed, Scorpius points out an important... point.

SCORPIUS

You can't take them all at once.

Lowering the rifle.

JOHN

How dumb do you think I am? You take 'em down one by one, the Die Hard way.

SCORPIUS

By luring them into an ambush. You could do with some assistance.

JOHN

You really think our relationship... has progressed that far?

Short silent pause, and John hands Scorpius a pulse rifle.

JOHN

Just remember whose side you're on.

MOYA - ATMOSPHERIC SCRUBBER / COMMAND

John and Scorpius enter. Still only two fans operational, the third that exploded in Natural Election remains absent.. John opens comms as they move to the side of the room.

JOHN

This is John Crichton...

In Command, Aeryn's head pops up at the sound of the hail and a tiny smile flickers. Remainder of scene cuts between the AS and Command with some dialogue 'over comms'.

JOHN

(over comms)
… paging the head Cylon. Pick up the phone, Imperious Leader.

AXIKOR

Crichton... how pleasant to hear from you.

JOHN

(over comms)
Let's have a little chat.

JOHN

First off, money. We can pay you more than the Peacekeepers will.

AXIKOR

No deal. Surrender at once.

JOHN

And why would I do that?

AXIKOR

To reduce the suffering of your crewmates. It's the only choice you have. Don't doubt for a microt that you will be captured.

JOHN

You know, for a guy with no mouth you sure talk big.

SCORPIUS

Brilliant.

JOHN

Why don't you come down here and find me, Gort.

JOHN

(over comms)
Klaatu barada nikto.

SCORPIUS

Mission accomplished, John.

JOHN

Screw you.

AXIKOR

He's on the lower tier. Somewhere in the atmospheric system. Check the airflow chambers.

MOYA - ATMOSPHERIC SCRUBBER

A henchman enters the chamber, walking between the two rotating fans, then moving to camera. Behind him, leveling a pulse rifle, Scorpius steps out of shadows.

SCORPIUS

Are you looking for someone?

Henchman turns and Scorpius fires. The rifle misfires, a chirrup signaling that it is either empty or malfunctioning.

Sighing with resignation, Scorpius turns slightly to the shadows behind him. Just a 'touch' of sarcasm in his voice.

SCORPIUS

Thank you, John.

Predictably, henchman takes the moment to gun down Scorpius, who staggers backward and drops to the floor. John steps out of shadows, leveling the massive muzzles of the 'Gatling' pulse rifle.

JOHN

Como estas, la cucaracha.

Heavy explosion as he fires. Henchman staggers backward, but suffers very little else in the way of ill effects, his armor serving him well. John fires twice more and henchman falls to the floor with a loud thud. Gathers himself up again with a slight snicker.

John eyes his standing opponent and... sniffs. Fires three more times in rapid succession. A loud thump and henchman remains down.

Blandly, John lowers the weapon, addressing Scorpius without turning.

JOHN

You didn't expect me to give you a loaded weapon, did you?

SCORPIUS

Well, yes.

Scorpius drags himself off the floor, following John to the henchman's body.

JOHN

Let's have a look at this guy.

John pokes the body with the rifle, kicks it slightly. Receiving no response, he kneels over the armored form, propping the rifle beside it.

JOHN

Damn. What the hell's this?

With very little effort he 'tears' the upper part of the armor off. Inside, soft, thready; orange/red flesh.

JOHN

It's like... Mr. Pumpkinhead.

SCORPIUS

Organic core.

Scorpius joins in the examination of the armor. Just a couple of 'science guys' tryin' to work things out.

SCORPIUS

Bioengineered armor shell.

JOHN

Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside. How're your ribs?

SCORPIUS

As if you care-- my armor worked... barely. One down...

JOHN

Five to go.

SCORPIUS

And you have a weapon that works.

JOHN

No. This bazooka's outta ammo. You can have it.

John stands and exits, leaving Scorpy to bitch slightly aside to himself.

SCORPIUS

I may well have joined the wrong side.

Fade to Black.

END ACT I

ACT II

MOYA - COMMAND / ATMOSPHERIC SCRUBBER

On Command, Axikor is getting a bit of bad news from one of his surviving henchmen.

AXIKOR

Dead? How?

brief cut to AS; henchman standing over deceased henchman as he reports.

HENCHMAN

Multiple blasts from a large yield weapon.

AXIKOR

So... Crichton's more formidable than I thought.

D'ARGO

I told you, but would you listen?

RYGEL

(chuckles)
No. They never listen.

AERYN

Not too late to cut your losses... and run.

AXIKOR

Oh, it's still early.

Done sneering for the moment, he directs his flunkies via comms. [And didn't anyone tell him about the whole 'plan' thing?]

AXIKOR

Initiate the containment plan.

MOYA - NEURAL CLUSTER

Pan up from the floor where one definitely operational DRD precedes John into the room; they pass another yellow DRD, antennae lit but unmoving. John reels off their 'assets', stacking weapons.

JOHN

All right, I got Winona, an extra pulse pistol, two pulse rifles, two DRDs, maybe four.

Back propped against the central nexus, Scorpy grouses, demonstrating higher math skills.

SCORPIUS

Eight, sixteen, or sixty-four, it won't be enough.

John waggles a pulse pistol in his face.

JOHN

Well, there's always the... pulse chamber overload trick.

SCORPIUS

If you can lure them close enough.

John crouches, speaking softly to 1812.

JOHN

I'm gonna need a volunteer for a dangerous mission.

SCORPIUS

(sighing)
The torment continues.

JOHN

No one asked you.

MOYA - THE DEN

One of the two henchmen guarding the girls and Pilot looms over Sikozu, issuing an unfriendly order.

HENCHMAN

Get to your feet.

Sikozu stands reluctantly, barely masked terror.

PILOT

What... are you going to do with them?

HENCHMAN

I told you to be silent.

Henchman starts tapping the keypad on his arm, Chi cocks her head and enhanced vision engages. Xclose on Chi's eye, the gauntlet reflected there as the slowed tapping continues. Henchman raises his arm, a small 'laser' dropping on a maneuvering arm from below the gauntlet, aiming at Sikozu. Close again on Chi's eye, the laser reflected there, then a burst of white light and Sikozu 'zips' down from full size to handprint size. Cut to xclose of teeny Sikozu reflected in Chiana's eye.

Henchman taps more keys and red indicator lights flip to blue on a disk sealed into his armor.

CHIANA

What the frell...?

MOYA - COMMAND

AXIKOR [O.S.]

Get up.

D'Argo stands slowly, peering over his shoulder at Axikor. His voice heavy with disdain.

D'ARGO

What now? Going for a little walk... are we?

AXIKOR

Something like that.

Rygel distracts while Aeryn and D'Argo exchange significant looks at the comms badge on the edge of the strategy table.

RYGEL

Hey, hey! Frellnik. Ah, before you do whatever you've got in mind, let's talk. If this is about currency, I'm assure I can more than match whatever you're being paid for me--

Aeryn leaps up, attacking Axikor, pounding him a little with her manacled arms. Axikor bashes her across the room.

Accepting the distraction, D'Argo's tongue lashes out, snags the comms badge and reels it back into his mouth, all in an instant.

Aeryn staggers back into her seat and D'Argo attacks, his blow also mainly unfelt. [ah, frell]. Axikor backhands him as well, knocking D'Argo nearly senseless to the floor. Aeryn flinches on his behalf. [oh, and here's a 'very' nice shot of D'Argo sprawled on the floor-- I love the new costume. So... red! And, uh... thin. *g* [BBQ gawks shamelessly.]]

AXIKOR

Delivering you dead would cost me... but it might just be worth it.

Axikor activates his keypad, laser pops out and he 'shrinks' D'Argo to the size of a wad of gum. After looking away from the intense flash of light, Aeryn looks back and... well, gawks at the teeny little D'Argo as he struggles to his feet.

Keying the pad again, red indicator lights switch to blue on his breastplate and he grasps the raised circular protrusion and 'pulls'. Stepping closer, minding not to squash the tiny Luxan, Axikor lowers the cylinder he's pulled from his chest and uses it to scoop D'Argo from the floor-- like a vacumn, but without the noise.

Brief cut to the interior of the cylinder and D'Argo's wrists are pulled apart and fasten with a metallic clank to the sides of the cylinder.

Axikor stands, eyes the inside of the cylinder [one can never be too careful] and shoves it back into his chest. More bleeping from the keypad and the blue indicator lights shift to red. [signed, sealed and delivered].

Axikor turns to Aeryn.

AXIKOR

Tell Crichton what you just witnessed.

Shot pans across Axikor's armored... arm, another comms badge pinned to the surface. Long, dry pause and Aeryn speaks.

AERYN

Crichton, don't talk... just listen.

MOYA - NEURAL CLUSTER / COMMAND

Scorpius, still sitting, and John, leaning against a pillar of the nexus, listen... John's severely antsy, shifting back and forth, tiny press-ups against the pillar.

AERYN

(over comms)
They've somehow reduced D'Argo in size. He's alive, but he's no larger than a hand length.

AERYN

And he's imprisoned inside the head bounty hunter.

AXIKOR

And the rest of your crewmates will follow.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
So, put away your weaponry. Killing one of us means you'll be killing one or more of your friends. Do you understand?

SCORPIUS

Aeryn's right, don't answer. Keep them guessing.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
You see how hopeless it is. Face the inevitable. Give yourself up.

Axikor begins pressing buttons on the keypad again. Sensing a final opportunity, Aeryn hurries to give John as much information as she can.

AERYN

Crichton, the device appears to be activated by a combination of numbers on the handset.

Axikor aims the laser at her and she looks away from the flash of intense light and-- disappears.

Cut to the floor where tiny Aeryn sprawls [oopsie, another tiny foul up-- no sign of the cuffs anywhere. Both Sikozu and D'Argo shrank with cuffs intact.]

AXIKOR

I'm told you care for her. So stop fighting and you'll save her life.

MOYA - NEURAL CLUSTER

John's no longer standing beside Scorpius. Scorpius, however, is now on his feet-- motivated and looking a bit peaked-- his words a bit slurred. John sits behind him at the base of the circular opening in the nexus.

SCORPIUS

You can't even consider giving up. Grayza... will not let any of you live.

JOHN

I'm not giving up, and you're the one who looks like crap.

SCORPIUS

Oh, don't worry about me. I'm merely overheating.

JOHN

So we've gone from Die Hard to Honey, I Shrunk The Hostages, unless that guy is bluffing Aeryn.

SCORPIUS

I don't think so.
(beat)
Forgive me, my mind isn't clear, but I seem to recall a Peacekeeper file... about a species called the Coreeshi.

JOHN

These are our pumpkin people?

SCORPIUS

Oh, yes. Capable of constructing organic shells in various forms. They also... are reputed to possess... reduction technology.

JOHN

Great. So now I gotta take these guys down and I can't hurt 'em.

SCORPIUS

I'm sure that point is a bluff. To keep their prisoners alive containment must be almost impossible to damage.

JOHN

I can't take that chance.

SCORPIUS

(scoffs)
Is there another choice?

CONTAINMENT CAPSULE - SIKOZU & RYGEL

Sikozu and Rygel, pinned to the 'top' curve of the containment capsule. Rygel snoring softly. [okay, Aliens vibe anyone? Wassis name Hicks sleeps during the drop?]

SIKOZU

(annoyed)
Wake up.

Rygel continues to snore.

SIKOZU

Hynerian, wake up!

RYGEL

(slurred)
My name isn't 'Hynerian'. It's Rygel the Sixteenth. You may call me 'Dominar'.

SIKOZU

This is scarcely the time to obsess about how you're addressed.

Shot 'rotates' and the pair is now attached to the bottom of the capsule.

SIKOZU

Look around you!

RYGEL

One more prison. So what? I've seen far worse.

SIKOZU

Do you have any idea how small you are?

RYGEL

You're not exactly a giant yourself.

SIKOZU

You have been reduced in size! You're hardly bigger than a filima bug now!

Sikozu looks around a bit frantically.

SIKOZU

Except... except this can't be happening.

RYGEL

(sighing)
Can't it?

SIKOZU

No... no. Reduction by... proportionately subtracting atoms would... leave our brains too simple to function.

RYGEL

So? Maybe they just made all our atoms smaller.

SIKOZU

But then we couldn't breathe normal sized air molecules, don't you see?

Almost nicely recovered from a bit of a panic attack, soothing herself with the 'facts'.

SIKOZU

No. No. This isn't happening because... it is not possible.

RYGEL

Your brain isn't functioning. Do you think this is all just a hallucination? Do you like that explanation better, hm?

SIKOZU

No... but I simply cannot comprehend how --

RYGEL

Neither can I. -- Who cares? We're here, they did it, and that's that. You consider yourself intelligent?

SIKOZU

(angry)
Yes, I do.

RYGEL

Then stop behaving like a child.

SIKOZU

I am not a child!

RYGEL

(makes a disbelieving noise)
You're an infant! You've studied but you haven't experienced. You know nothing of life.

SIKOZU

(sweetly insincere)
And you do?

RYGEL

I've been around long enough to know how ignorant I am. I don't assume the universe obeys my preconceptions. Hah! But I know a frelling fact when it hits me in the face.

[Rygel as DK. Bitchin'. Thanks.]

MOYA - CORRIDOR

1812, attached high on Moya's curving wall, cuts through a section with his laser. John examines with approval.

JOHN

That's good work.

Close on Scorpius, a cloud of smoke rising from his skull like it's a well-used ashtray. [*snort*]

JOHN

You're smoking. -- You know that's not good for you.

SCORPIUS

The replacement cooling rod Sikozu has formulated... does not function as well in times of exertion.

JOHN

Then don't exert. Hit the bench, go on.

SCORPIUS

How did you survive this far?

Scowling, Scorpy moves out of shot, trailing wisps of [*snort*] smoke. [*giggling madly*].

JOHN

(aside)
Charm. Good looks. Winning attitude.

John manipulates controls on the side of a pulse pistol, kneeling in the center of the passage.

JOHN

Here we go.

He lays the pistol down and 'spins' it.

JOHN

And batter up.

Stands and moves further along the passage, moving out of sight. Cut to close on 1812, still cutting through the section of wall.

JOHN [O.S.]

1812, don't cut it loose till I give you the signal.

MOYA - MAINTENANCE BAY / COMMAND / CORRIDOR

[Well, okay, I don't 'know' that it's the maintenance bay, but it's a large open space, angle up on Henchman to wide open arched ceiling-- cool cut out which may be an air duct cover overhead. Neato.]

HENCHMAN

I'm hearing something on tier 1-- treblin side. I'll check it out.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
Negative.

AXIKOR

Hold position. -- Devvak, you go in first.

Brief cut to another henchman lurking elsewhere.

DEVVAK

(nodding)
Acknowledged.

MOYA - CORRIDORS

Cut to 'Devvak', entering John's rigged passage from a junction. Cut to John, propped on one arm, leaning against the wall; kneeling below and behind him, Scorpius takes aim down the passage with a pulse rifle. John quietly unholsters Winona.

Brainy henchman notes the pulse pistol lying on its side on the floor, bright red indicator light steady on the butt.

DEVVAK

Come out, Crichton. I have Aeryn and Chiana.

Shot of John and Scorpy, lurking, most likely on the other side of the curved junction in an adjacent passage.

DEVVAK

If you destroy me you destroy them.

Whine of pulse chamber overload draws his attention down and the miniaturizing ray pops from beneath his gauntlet.

DEVVAK

And you certainly won't destroy me with that.

Close on the pulse pistol as it gets shrunk and explodes with a disheartening 'pop' and a tiny waft of smoke.

DEVVAK

Pulse chamber overload--
(snorts)
Not very creative.

JOHN

1812!

1812 fires a rapid stream of pulse fire against the weakened section of wall, cutting through the final distance, freeing it to pop 'out' and into Devaak's chest, the jagged end driving in and pinning him against the opposite wall. He grunts in pain and surprise, red eyes dimming to black.

JOHN

Bear trap-- ugly but creative.

John and Scorpius move around the curve, into sight. John examines the large armored carcass pinned to the wall.

JOHN

And that is how we survived.

SCORPIUS

The containment capsule is-- here.

Scorpy taps the slightly protruding cylinder below the impact point of the trap.

JOHN

1812-- light it up.

1812 opens fire on the body, tiny pulse blasts striking below the containment cylinder.

Quick cut inside the cylinder, Chiana, her eyes white with blindness, looks up at the muted sound of pulse fire. The cylinder vibrating with the sound of each impact.

CHIANA

What's that? What's goin' on?

Quick cut to Axikor on the Command, red eyes flashing as he speaks.

AXIKOR

Contact lost on tier 16. All hands, get down there now!

SCORPIUS

There's no more time. Take this.

Scorpy hands John the pulse rifle and 'extracts' the cylinder with his 'gloved' hands.

The cylinder pops free and John takes it immediately, peering inside.

CHIANA

We're out?

AERYN

Crichton's got us.

Gianormous eyes peer inside the cylinder. The magnetic cuffs pinning the two women to the sides.

JOHN

Aeryn, Pip, you okay?

CHIANA

Oh, yeah.

AERYN

Yes.

Sound of approaching bad guys interrupts the reunion.

HENCHMAN [O.S.]

Over here!

SCORPIUS

Run for it, save them!

John heads away, needing no encouragement from Scorpius, but he's moving at DRD speed, not wanting to leave the small machine to the bad guys.

JOHN

1812, this way.

AERYN

Whoa!

Scorpius remains in the passage, prepared to hold off the bad guys to allow John's escape.

JOHN

Pick it up, pick it up!

Running at DRD speed, John catches a pulse blast in the left calf before he can get out of sight, limping around the corner, 1812 following.

SCORPIUS

Go, John, go!

Scorpius flings his hands up, blocking the advancing henchmen and their fire, feigning a nice peaceful surrender until they are close enough, then attacking. Two futile blows against armor and the attacked henchman grabs him by the throat, pinning him to the wall beside their deceased comrade.

HENCHMAN

Who is he? Do you think he's worth anything?

Three henchman in total, the one not holding Scorpius exchanges a deadly aside with his curious friend.

HENCHMAN

Either he's worth something... or he's dead.

Fade to Black< /p >

END ACT II

ACT III

MOYA - CONTAINMENT CAPSULE; AERYN & CHIANA / CARGO BAY

Act opens on shot of Aeryn and Chiana inside the containment capsule. John speaks, but isn't seen initially.

JOHN [O.S.]

You guys all right?

CHIANA

Where are we? I can't see.

JOHN [O.S.]

You're out of the bounty hunter's body--

Cut to the cargo bay; John sits in an alcove, a small spill of blood and 1812 by his feet, he's tying a makeshift bandage around his calf, a bit above his ankle. [At least it's not his feet and he's not in a bathroom, eh?]

JOHN

but you're still tiny.

He grimaces then leans over and peers inside the containment capsule which is propped on top of an overturned bucket.

JOHN

And you're stuck in a beer can.

AERYN

And since these cuffs are magnetic we're not going anywhere in a hurry.

JOHN

Right, first priority we get you guys outta there.

AERYN

No. First priority is rescuing the others. We can wait.

John, visibly stung, reacting badly to a completely unrelated rejection.

JOHN

Right.

Looks away as he fishes something from his pocket.

JOHN

Gonna need a new plan.

Hands cupped over his nose and mouth, takes a hit of laka, head spinning; cue Aeryn montage.

[Shot list: DWTB/A1: John and Aeryn kissing on the dance floor at the 'wedding reception'; John kissing the elusive Aeryn in the Hangar Bay. UNAIRED S4: John nuzzles Aeryn's neck. DWTB/TAG: Aeryn's final goobye from the prowler. ITLD2WiSC/Tag: Close profile of Aeryn, eyes downcast. DMD/1: John/Harvey & Aeryn kiss in the Neural Cluster. UNAIRED S4: Close-up 2-shot, J&A, his fingers brushing her lips. The last fading before it can be fully seen.]

JOHN

I'm on it.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
Crichton.

Axikor struts across command, empty save for himself. Behaving as though he has the upper hand.

AXIKOR

Congratulations on retrieving the females. I assume they're alive and... intact. Of course, you can't set them free nor restore their size without my help. I understand you care for them.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
I offer a deal. Turn yourself in, and I'll restore their size and set them free.

JOHN

Yeah, well, why are you suddenly feelin' so generous?

AXIKOR

You're costing me bodies and time. I'll pass up the bounties I'd earn on the females in exchange for you.

JOHN

What about the others?

AXIKOR

I'm not that generous.

JOHN

Maybe... you'll feel more generous after you've lost a few pints of your own blood.

Soft, menacing growl from Axikor. Conversation over.

JOHN

You know where the others are?

CHIANA

I saw Sikozu get shrunk... but I didn't see where they put her.

AERYN

Same-- for D'Argo and Rygel.

CHIANA

I-- I used my visions. Everything slowed down and I-- I know how they do the shrinking.

JOHN

How's that?

CHIANA

The armor. Left arm. There's a keypad. I know the codes for shrinking, and I- I know the codes to get the cuffs off.

JOHN

That's good work, Chi. It's too bad we don't have some of that armor ourselves.

AERYN

Mm. What do we have?

JOHN

We got you, me, a couple of DRDs, and some weapons that only tickle the bad guys.

AERYN

What happened to the old woman?

Cut to close on Noranti's sleeping face, all eyes closed, she drifts lightly, a purple cast of light on her face.

MOYA - COMMAND

Scorpius, arms firmly manacled, is out like a light, stretched out on the strategy table. Axikor and one of his henchman eye him from the far side. Which is probably good, otherwise they'd be bound to notice Noranti floating in space just outside the forward portal.

HENCHMAN

Any idea who he is?

AXIKOR

No.

AXIKOR

He was working with Crichton?

HENCHMAN

He's the only reason Crichton got away. Crichton was hit in the leg. He was leaking vital fluids in the passageway.

AXIKOR

If you can't capture a wounded target... you'll be leaking vital fluids as well. Get moving!

Henchman exits, door closing behind him. Axikor prowls closer.

AXIKOR

Well, well... Scorpius.

MOYA - CORRIDOR / CONTAINMENT CAPSULE

John walks a short length of corridor, 1812 and a yellow companion scurrying before him; pulse pistol in one hand, beer can in the other.

JOHN

How's the ride?

AERYN

We're all right.

CONTAINMENT CAPSULE

The capsule sways gently in John's grip, at this angle, Aeryn's on her back, legs propped up on the curve of the capsule. Chi sits a bit down and opposite, eyes closed but damp with nearly unshed tears.

CHIANA

I'm still blind. Maybe... maybe it won't go away.

AERYN

It's okay. Your sight's always come back before.

CHIANA

Maybe this is one time too many. W-what if it doesn't come back?

AERYN

Well, using your sight the way you did... may be the only thing that saves us. Without those codes we'll never return to normal size.

CHIANA

It's just the dark.

CHIANA

You don't know what's coming, and ah... there's nothing you can do.
(beat)
I hate that feeling.

MOYA - COMMAND

Close on Scorpy, still playin' possum.

AXIKOR

Wake up!

Scorpius shudders heavily, in pain, the 'zapping' sound letting us know the cause.

AXIKOR

Why are you here?

SCORPIUS

Because you captured me.

Small laugh at the idiocy of the question. Axikor stares at him intently, a slight musical sound alerting us to his intent to 'read' Scorpy's thoughts. [How useful would it be if the use of mind reading skills actually caused that audible noise? You're sitting there, all innocent like and you hear that 'whistling through the trees' noise, so you eye your companion, maybe slap him, "cut that out." *g*]

Scorpy gives Axikor his best disdainful look.

SCORPIUS

(speaking alien language)
That won't work on me.

AXIKOR

So you know.

SCORPIUS

Did you think that armor would fool me? I know what you are.

AXIKOR

Then you should bow down!

SCORPIUS

Entropy will claim the universe before I bow down to a Scarran!

AXIKOR

Even one of the Ruling Order?

Axikor removes his helmet revealing completely unfamiliar features when it comes to Scarrans [but really, he's kind of cute, in a 'wish his teeth weren't so sharp' kind of way.]

SCORPIUS

Particularly... the Ruling Order.

Axikor replaces his helmet.

SCORPIUS

Grafting yourself into a Coreeshi exoskeleton? How ingenious.

AXIKOR

Yes.

SCORPIUS

How many Peacekeepers have dealt with you, not knowing you're a Scarran spy?

AXIKOR

Too many to count.

SCORPIUS

You're not after Crichton for the bounty. You want to take him back to your masters.

AXIKOR

We're eager to learn why both you and... Commandant Grayza are so interested in him. But... capturing you is a bonus beyond measure. It shall be my honor to return you to your birthplace.

SCORPIUS

It will be my honor... to see you dead!

AXIKOR

Not likely.

Axikor shrinks Scorpius with the same preliminary fanfare as before.

MOYA - CARGO BAY

Close on a couple of DRDs placed strategically on top of cargo containers in front of the closed door. John moves around them, nice bounce in his step.

JOHN

Ka-tow, ka-tow--

Makes a slashing motion across his throat with the side of his hand.

JOHN

Yeah. That's gonna work.
(beat)
All right. I got the plan.

Stops and leans down to peer inside the beer can that's also propped on top of a stack of cargo containers.

JOHN

How's my breath?

Opens his mouth and exhales directly inside the beer can. Aeryn and Chiana flinch away, so... maybe not good... at least, hot. Idiot.

JOHN

Death... by laser guillotine. Four DRDs--

Another slashing motion across his throat.

JOHN

… clothesline the suckers.

AERYN

And not harm their captives? Might work. Probably won't.

John idly rocks the cylinder back and forth with the tips of his fingers.

JOHN

Don't be small-minded.

Inside, Chiana and Aeryn 'enjoy' the ride.

JOHN

Chiana, how're the peepers?

CHIANA

Good. Makin' out colors and shapes.

JOHN

Right. Well, you two talk amongst yourselves, I got work to do.

As he moves away, he rolls the capsule with one hand. Inside Chi and Aeryn squeal unhappily as they spin 360 degrees and more.

AERYN

Crichton!

CHIANA

Bastard!

John catches the capsule as it rolls off the edge of the cargo container, replacing it on top.

JOHN

Sorry about that.

MOYA - COMMAND

AXIKOR

Enjoy the ride, Scorpius.

Axikor thumps his chest over the red indicator lights, turns and moves away.

CONTAINMENT CAPSULE - D'ARGO & SCORPIUS

The capsule rocks slightly with the motion of Axikor's movement.

SCORPIUS

Ka D'Argo, overcome your lethargy, now. Moya's crew is in danger.

D'Argo leans forward, carefully exuding the comms badge from his mouth and resting it his knee.

D'ARGO

Where the frell are we, and what are you doing here?

SCORPIUS

You have a comms. Signal Crichton immediately.

D'ARGO

Answers first.

MOYA - CARGO BAY

John loudly 'sings along' with the instrumental beat of the background music-- pushing a crate across the floor. It clangs against a smaller crate and he lets it rest, satisfied with its new position.

JOHN

All right. All the brothers down with the plan?

DRD attempts a chirrup of a reply, John hushes it.

JOHN

Be quiet.

Moving to the crate holding the beer can, scooping it up as he passes.

JOHN

How're my little inaction figures?

CHIANA

I can see, but it's-- it's all blurry.

He props it up on the ledge of a support pillar, safely out of the way.

JOHN

Right. If I get the time, I'll... do something about that.

MOYA - THE DEN / CONTAINMENT CAPSULE

Axikor, alone in the Den with Pilot-- the henchmen off doing henchmen stuff. Their only company, a teeny tiny Scorpius and D'Argo in Axikor's chest.

AXIKOR

After I release two of your arms, you'll open an encoded channel on a vector and frequency I designate. If you do anything else... I'll kill you and then this Leviathan.

PILOT

I'll do as you say.

Axikor taps a bit on his keypad and Pilot's two right arms are abruptly released.

Inside the capsule, Scorpy and D continue their conversation.

D'ARGO

A Scarran spy?

SCORPIUS

He intends to capture Crichton. Not for the Peacekeepers, but for the Scarrans. Crichton needs to know this. He cannot fall into Scarran hands.

D'ARGO

Why should I believe you?

Muted sound of an alien language interrupts the answer.

SCORPIUS

Wait... Scarran military code. He's signaling to a dreadnought-- to come get him and his prisoners. Bounty hunters may have spared Moya. The Scarrans won't.

D'Argo gives a disgruntled sigh, but is in obvious agreement. He leans toward the comms slightly; it chirrups in response. [lotta chirrupin' goin' on tonight.]

D'ARGO

(comming)
John? John, can you hear me?

Leaning against a crate, John examines Winona idly.

JOHN

Yeah. Hidey-ho, D. Where are you?

D'ARGO

(over comms)
Fine. I'm in some sort of cylindrical prison. Look, it doesn't matter. Can you trust Scorpius?

JOHN

More today than yesterday. Why?

D'ARGO

He thinks we might have a Scarran on our hands.

D'ARGO

(over comms)
And that the Scarran is calling in a dreadnought.

JOHN

Interesting. That could be useful. Thanks.

MOYA - CORRIDOR

A henchman, approaching the sealed door to the cargo bay, is clearly overhearing the last of this conversation. Enhanced hearing. Very handy.

D'ARGO [O.S.]

John, the Scarran's forcing Pilot to transmit the message now.

JOHN [O.S.]

Right. Keep me posted.

HENCHMAN

Found him. Cargo bay. Tier 20. I've got treblin side. You take hamman side.

Cut to another passageway, another henchman making his way.

HENCHMAN

(over comms)
Watch for traps.

HENCHMAN

Almost in position. Go in 10 microts.

MOYA - CARGO BAY

John, crouched behind the cargo container, pulse rifle in hand. He turns at the sound of the door being keyed and swaying open, but remains crouched behind the containers.

Armored henchman enters, a short beat and the four DRDs perched on top of the containers open fire. Their tiny blasts result in not even a flinch. John pops up from behind the three yellow DRDs, clumsily lifts the pulse rifle and also opens fire. Guy doesn't even 'flinch'.

John lowers the rifle, waiting. Henchman starts moving toward him.

JOHN

Oh, crap. Best laid plans.

John scrambles for Plan B, turns about to head out the opposite door, nearly hobbling with his injured leg. He's immediately stalled by the appearance of the second henchman cutting him off at the pass.

JOHN

Oh.

Quickly reversing the rifle he slams it into the armored shoulder; effective in that it makes the guy 'flinch'.

JOHN

Oh, hell, this is gonna hurt.

He turns to 'hop' away, running right into the armored fist that plows into his face, driving him onto his back with a very painful sounding thud, pulse rifle skating away from lax fingers.

Fade to Black.

END ACT III

ACT IV

MOYA - CARGO BAY / THE DEN / CONTAINMENT CAPSULE

Close on a henchman, large dagger 'snicking' from his gauntlet, the minimizing ray popping out from below.

HENCHMAN

We've got Crichton. Tier 20. Cargo bay.

Cut to John, still on his back, but one hand raised, probing insulted flesh, eyeing the blood on his hand.

AXIKOR

(over comms)
Hold him there. I'll come shortly.

Veiled suspicion in his inquiry to Pilot.

AXIKOR

No acknowledgement of my signal?

PILOT

Not yet.

Followed by a quick look at Chi and Aeryn in the capsule.

CHIANA

What was that? They... they said they had Crichton.

AERYN

Maybe it's part of the trap. I hope... it's part of the trap.

Cut to John sitting up on the deck, fingers still probing his nose gently, legs splayed in front of him. He mutters to himself mostly, voice sour.

JOHN

Henchmen.

Leaning back on his hands, propping himself up. Talking a bit louder now for the benefit of the three aforesaid henchmen looming over him.

JOHN

Always the last to know and the first to get hurt.

Eyes rolling slightly, Plan C.

JOHN

I've got some bad news for you guys. Your, ah, boss-- he's not a battlebot, he's a Scarran.

HENCHMAN

Ridiculous.

Close on John, thin stream of blood from nose and split lip. Very casual and relaxed.

JOHN

Yeah? Well, take the can opener to him. Find out for yourself, but you better do it quick because he's just called for a dreadnought to take him back to Scarranburg.

Henchmen glare, red-eyed and silent.

JOHN

All right. Go check it out. He's in Pilot's Den right now.

More silence. John's really tired.

JOHN

Well, why don't you have Pilot play back the message and you can have your chief explain why he's talkin' in Scarran?

Red eyes barely flickering, silent, but seeming to waver. John's voice drops, soft, resigned.

JOHN

Fellas... I got no axe to grind. Peacekeepers, Scarrans... I'm dead either way. You guys... crap man, you oughta be concerned. What's it gonna cost you to check it out? Nothin'. I'm lyin'? You can take it outta my hide, but if I'm tellin' the truth?
(nodding)
Yeah... we're gonna smoke the peace pipe.

HENCHMAN

Watch him.

Center henchman splits, right henchman keeps steady red eyes on John, the other watches the retreating henchman before turning back to John who's rather coolly eyeing the two remaining henchmen, nodding curtly with satisfaction.

MOYA - THE DEN

Crichton's corrupted henchman stands in the open doorway, voice challenging.

HENCHMAN

Axikor.

AXIKOR

What are you doing here?

HENCHMAN

Open your armor.

AXIKOR

Why?

HENCHMAN

To prove you are a Coreeshi, and not a Scarran!

Henchman's hands tighten to fists, the last word a bitten off curse. [So, more people who don't like Scarrans. Go figure.]

AXIKOR

Don't be foolish.

Axikor turns his back, dismissively but also allowing access to his keypad unseen by the compromised ... uh, henchman.

HENCHMAN

Open it... now!

Axikor taps the keypad quickly. Behind him the henchman's armor begins to 'explode'. Huge burst from the shoulder -- Pilot gawps fearfully -- both armored knees blow out and henchman topples to the causeway.

MOYA - CARGO BAY

John's two remaining guards begin to 'explode', Crichton looking up in surprise, one bloody fingertip in his mouth, looking up as the henchmen fall like cut trees. John leans over the closer of the two.

JOHN

Man, I hope you guys are still under warranty.

MOYA - THE DEN

Thin, hot steaming red fluid pours from the armored head of the exploded henchman, red eyes dimming to black.

MOYA - CARGO BAY

John standing beyond the two toppled henchmen.

JOHN

1812, get these arms off him, quick!

MOYA - PILOT'S DEN

PILOT

You... killed him.

AXIKOR

You can be next.

Electronic bleeping sound.

AXIKOR

Transmission?

PILOT

Yes.

SCARRAN VOICE

(over comms)
Axikor... Mra zenab prant kebof...

MOYA - CARGO BAY

Close on a yellow DRD busy lasering away at the splayed arm of one of the former henchmen.

JOHN

That a girl.

He kneels close.

JOHN

All right... Chiana, start teachin' me those combinations.

He places the 'beer can' on the floor close to hand.

CHIANA

Will do.

MOYA - THE DEN / CONTAINMENT CAPSULE

SCARRAN VOICE

(over comms)
...branek vol skarn...

Inside the capsule, Scorpius listens in.

SCARRAN VOICE

...woxa kwal...

SCORPIUS

(overhearing)
The dreadnought signals it won't risk traveling to Moya. Not with a command carrier in the area.

D'ARGO

That's good.

SCORPIUS

He's been ordered to make his own way off Moya, and to rendezvous with the dreadnought elsewhere.

D'ARGO

Well... that's... bad.

MOYA - CARGO BAY

Standing again, one hand holding a disembodied 'arm' while he pulls stringy orange flesh from the inside. [ugh] Features sensibly screwed up to a figure of distaste, he peers inside before... shoving his own arm into the squicky mess.

JOHN

Oh, God, it's still warm.

Left arm seated neatly inside the armored gauntlet, John shakes the remnants off his right hand as though that'd be his only problem at this point. [ew]

JOHN

Okay... Nurse, I am, uh, ready for surgery. First thing, the cuffs.

Maneuvering his gauntleted arm, he taps the keypad. Inside the capsule, Chiana and Aeryn are abruptly released and slide down the curved sides to the bottom of the cylinder.

AERYN

So far, so good.

JOHN

Excellent.

CHIANA

Frell.

John keys the code for the next phase, muttering to himself.

JOHN

Beer can's next.

Leans over one of the henchmen, pulls out the beer can on his chest and peers inside.

JOHN

Damn, no winners there.

Tosses the empty cylinder across the room, moves to the remaining henchman, rolls him over and keys the command for release again. Red indicator lights flicker to blue and John leans down, pulling out the containment capsule and peers inside; jubilant expression speaks for itself.

JOHN

Hey!

RYGEL

Crichton!

JOHN

How about that? I got a tadpole!

SIKOZU

Crichton, get us out of here! Make us normal size.

RYGEL

Please!

JOHN

I don't know about that Rygel.

John places the occupied cylinder carefully on top of a cargo container.

JOHN

Chiana only gave me the codes for makin' things smaller, not bigger. I don't wanna blow you up.

Brief cut to close and angle up on Axikor, stalking the passageways.

D'ARGO

(over comms)
John! John, we're on the move again. I think the Scarran's making a run for it.

D'ARGO

He may try and steal a transport pod. Actually, if he wants something faster, he may try and steal Aeryn's prowler.

Tiny Aeryn reacts to the news.

AERYN

(annoyed)
Frell.

JOHN

Right. I'll try and cut him off at the pass. 1812, keep an eye on the little people.

John shoves his right arm into another of the 'vacated' gauntlets and heads out at a run. 1812 glide close to the capsule on the floor.

AERYN

He'll never beat the Scarran to the prowler.

Aeryn turns and hops out of the capsule, rocking it slightly. The gigantic 1812 visible just outside.

CHIANA

Hey, where you goin'?

AERYN

Sit tight.

MOYA - CORRIDOR

John on the run.

MOYA - MAINTENANCE BAY / TRANSPORT HANGAR

Axikor, helmet removed, enters. Pausing briefly he eyes the helmet, tossing it away with a growl before moving to the nose of a prowler. He keys a few controls on the 'boot' and it slides off, freeing the vessel.

John enters, moving quickly, only slightly breathless.

JOHN

Yo!

Axikor looks up, but doesn't respond before Aeryn enters astride 1812... well, not astride... standing... on its back.

AERYN

Crichton!

John looks down and around as the DRD glides past him.

AERYN

I'll disable the prowler. You take care of the Scarran.

Okay, and that's surprising cause all he can do is stand there and watch while 1812 glides closer to the prowler, between John and Axikor.

AERYN

Fire.

1812 glides to a stop and opens fire, the small blasts glancing off the side of the prowler.

Axikor turns, not seeming even vaguely inconvenienced, raising his arm. John darts to the side, seeking cover behind a support pillar. Meanwhile, the fire from Axikor's gauntlet knocks Aeryn from her perch and she tumbles to the ground, out cold.

Axikor strides across the deck, seeking additional victims. John's hand, resting on the support pillar, finds a small tool and tosses it across the room. The clatter draws Axikor's attention.

Quiet sound of Axikor's 'mind-reading' thing starts to build but is interrupted by a large plate of steel to the face; wielded by a slightly annoyed John Crichton.

Axikor actually staggers backward, but before he can recover fully, John bashes him again, driving him onto his back.

John discards the makeshift weapon; his gigantic feet walking past tiny Aeryn.

JOHN

You should pick on somebody your own size.

Leaning down he taps the keypad, the red indicator lights on Axikor's chest shift to blue and John extracts the capsule, peering inside. D'Argo and Scorpius get a brief look at John's face.

JOHN

Hiya, fellas.

D'ARGO

John!

Axikor grabs John around the knees, upsetting his balance and he goes down hard, the capsule popping out of his hands. His shoulders hit the ground. [Loose ball! Loose ball!]

Inside the capsule, Scorpius and D'Argo do the loop-d-loop and D'Argo howls!

D'ARGO

(screaming)
John!

AXIKOR

Crichton. Excellent. Scorpius will have someone to keep him company on his journey.

Both on their backs. John chooses to use the keypad while Axikor gloats. However, at the first few blips Axikor begins keying his pad as well. [Typing speed is very important.]

They aim and fire simultaneously and abruptly. Flash of light, and we have tiny John and tiny Axikor on the very large floor, Aeryn a few steps away still lying quietly next to the Moya-sized DRD.

JOHN

Back to Scarranburg? I don't think so.

They both take the moment to get to their feet. Another sound of electronic bleeps. A flash of light and Axikor abruptly looms over tiny John.

JOHN

(muttering)
Get-big code.

AXIKOR

You're mine now.

Axikor makes a grab for John.

JOHN

Crap.

Quickly keying the 'get-big code'.

JOHN

Hope I can do this.

Flash of light as Axikor's fist sweeps past and John is also big again.

Axikor staggers back a bit in surprise, then takes a broad sweep at John who successfully blocks the attack with his armored..... arms. They grapple for a few fun seconds, John getting pressed further back as the guy < b >is< /b > a Scarran after all. He taps the keypad quickly and - flash of light - they are both very tiny again.

JOHN

So, you're an upper-class Scarran? Not like the horse-faces I'm used to.

John plows a fist into Axikor's face. Axikor backhands him easily and he staggers away while Axikor stands.

AXIKOR

You'll soon be meeting more of me.

JOHN

Remind me to shave.

John taps rapidly on the keypad and - flash of light - he's huge again, looming over the tiny Scarran.

Without pausing he lifts one boot, setting it down again, firmly. Axikor's scream is abruptly cut off as his tiny form disappears beneath.

Ugly squishing sound, and...

JOHN

One small step for man.

John kneels down, head cocked, peering at the puddle of red, no sign of Axikor save for the tiny little arm that escaped squishin'.

JOHN

e donde esta la cucaracha?

Fade to Black.

END ACT IV

TAG

MOYA - CONTAINMENT CELL

Scorpius is back in his 'regular' cell aboard Moya. Sprawled on his back, glaring at the ceiling. One of his little yellow guards drifts beneath the 'bed'.

D'ARGO [O.S.]

John, what the frell are we gonna do with Scorpius?

MOYA - CORRIDOR / COMMAND

John walkin' and talkin', so it must be exposition.

[Oh, man, I need a capture of this. John and D'Argo side by side. We never get to see that anymore! *bitchwhine*]

JOHN

Man, I just don't know. He could'a gone to ground, but he-he didn't. He put is his ass on the line for us, I guess. I don't know, I just--

D'ARGO

John--

JOHN

I just don't kn-- D, look.

John stops, one hand against the wall.

JOHN

Bottom line.

D'Argo slows, turning about to face him.

JOHN

I don't think we have a cage that's gonna hold the son of a bitch.

D'ARGO

I agree with you on all counts.

JOHN

Yeah.

D'ARGO

We should still keep a close eye on him at all times.

JOHN

Twenty-four/seven.

D'Argo turns to move on but is held in place by Rygel's sudden bland questioning via comms.

RYGEL

(over comms)
Crichton?

JOHN

Yeah, Ryge?

Quick cut to Rygel on Command, enjoying a view out the forward portal.

RYGEL

There's a wrinkled old woman floating outside the forward portal.

Oops, mild actual embarrassment.

JOHN

Whoa. Gigantic oops.
(to D'Argo)
Can you do me a favor? Pop outside the tier 3 treblin side hatch and haul Granny in?

Big brother actions; steps closer, eyebrows arched in a lovely 'tsk, you are so careless with your toys' gesture.

D'ARGO

Noranti... is outside?

JOHN

Yeah, don't-don't ask. She-- she's got some red Play-Doh in her pocket. Dose her with that when she gets in and she should be all right.

D'ARGO

It's taken care of.

Pats him on the shoulder and brushes past.

EXT SPACE - CGI

Transition. Moya motors.

MOYA - CORRIDOR / THE DEN

Aeryn walks into a passage from a junction at the far end.

PILOT

(over comms)
Officer Sun.

AERYN

Yes, Pilot?

Quick cut to the Den. John sitting on Pilot's left-hand side, legs dangling inside the console rim. 1812 on the console to Pilot's right.

PILOT

Commander Crichton and I would like your advice before we broach a topic with Captain D'Argo.

Cut to Aeryn, almost purposeless strolling as she listens.

AERYN

Go ahead.

PILOT

In view of the continuing danger we face in Peacekeeper space, and... even in the Uncharted Territories, and given that the Scarrans will also be looking for us now... I'm reluctantly forced to consider traveling into Tormented Space.

Aeryn stops strolling and just... stops.

JOHN

Aeryn, you know what that is?

She turns about and takes a few steps back the way she came, stopping again.

JOHN

(over comms)
Aeryn?

Turning her back to the wall, she crouches down on her heels.

AERYN

Um.... it's a place where neither Peacekeepers nor Scarrans will travel.

JOHN

Right. It's a rough neighborhood.

AERYN

A bit hard to know. Few credible reports have made it back from there since... those who go there usually vanish.

PILOT

Navigation there is extremely hazardous. Many ships have been lost. The area is reputed to be a nexus of wormholes.

JOHN

So I've been told. And Moya is cool with that?

PILOT

She's understandably reticent to go there, but... she sees no other choice.

AERYN

Nor do I, Pilot.

JOHN

Well, look on the bright side. It can't be any worse than some of the places we've been lately.

AERYN

(over comms)
Trust me.

AERYN

It can.

And from Aeryn's truly bleak expression we can safely assume that... she knows something we don't. And it ain't good.

Fade to Black.

ROLL CLOSING CREDITS






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