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FARSCAPE

"Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think"

Written by,
David Kemper



Transcript provided by: Farscape Ally!, with invaluable assistance from 30d954A

Additional editing provided by $al-Man.


Starring:
Ben Browder
Claudia Black
Virginia Hey
Anthony Simcoe
Gigi Edgley
Commander John Crichton
Officer Aeryn Sun
Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan
Ka D'Argo
Chiana
Guest Starring:
Matt Day
Felicity Price
Wayne Pygram
Jonathan Hardy
Francesca Buller
Tina Bursill
Felix Williamson
David Franklin
Thomas Holesgrove
Bianca Chiminello
Aaron Cash
Jennifer Fisher
Nicholas McKay
Counselor Tyno
Princess Katralla
Scorpius
Kahaynu
ro-NAH
Empress Novia
Prince Clavor
Lieutenant Braca
Sastaretski Cargn
Jenavian Chatto
Dregon Cazanova
PK Skipper
Voice of Cargn





Writer: David Kemper

Who also wrote:
(1:12*) "Rhapsody In Blue", (1:17) "Through The Looking Glass", (1:21*) "Bone To Be Wild", (1:22*) "Family Ties", (2:10) "Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss", (2:11) "Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think", (2:21) "Look At The Princess, Part 3: The Maltese Crichton", (2:22) "Die Me Dichotomy", (3:03) "Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part 1: Could'a, Would'a, Should'a".






Director: Andrew Prowse & Tony Tilse

Andrew Prowse also directed:
(1:01) "Premiere", (1:09) "DNA Mad Scientist", (1:12) "Rhapsody In Blue", (1:21) "Bone To Be Wild", (2:02) "Mind The Baby", (2:06) "Picture If You Will", (2:10*) "Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss", (2:21*) "Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think", (2:11*) "Look At The Princess, Part 3: The Maltese Crichton", (2:18) "Liars, Guns & Money, Part I: A Not So Simple Plan", (3:02) "Suns & Lovers".

Tony Tilse Also Directed:
(1:07) "PK Tech Girl", (1:11) "Till The Blood Runs Clear", (1:15) "Durka Returns", (1:18) "A Bugs Life", (1:22) "Family Ties", (2:03) "Vitas Mortis", (2:07) "The Way We Weren't", (2:10*) "Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss", (2:21*) "Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think", (2:11*) "Look At The Princess, Part 3: The Maltese Crichton", (2:13) "Beware Of Dog", (2:16) "The Ugly Truth", (2:20) "Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B", (3:03) "Self-Inflicted Wounds, Part 1: Could'a, Would'a, Should'a".




Co-Executive Producer: Richard Manning
Co-Executive Producer: Naren Shankar
Produced by: Sue Milliken
Written by: David Kemper
Directed by: Andrew Prowse & Tony Tilse
Executive Producers: David Kemper
Brian Henson
Rod Perth
Robert Halmi, Jr.
Executive Consultant: Rockne S. O'Bannon
Creative Consultant: Justin Monjo
Executive Story Editors: Gabrielle Stanton & Harry Werksman, Jr.
Director of Photography: Russell Bacon
Production Designer: Tim Ferrier
Associate Producer: Andrew Prowse
Music by: Guy Gross
Costume Designer: Terry Ryan
Editor: Neil Thumpson
Second Unit DOP: Danny Batterham
Story Editor: Lily Taylor
Script Editor: Grant McAloon
Production Executive: Robert Woznian
Creature Shop Creative Supervisor: Dave Elsey
Visual Effects by: Animal Logic












COLD OPEN





INT. PALACE -- The Regent's Quarters

Crichton's screams are cut off as an unknown assailant enters the fray, on his side, kicking the assassin upside the head, his weapon cutting off. Crichton collapses to the floor as the other would be assassins move against the intruder.

The intruder, Jenavian, in wedding drag, having effectively interrupted the quick kill, proceeds to kick the crap out of the four assassins. Crichton assists by taking out one, pounding him senseless while Jena takes out three more would be assassins. Jenavian takes out the final assassin with a slim stiletto blade that springs from her wrist.

Crichton pulls himself up onto the corner of the bed, and sits, gasping for breath, watching as the final assassin slumps to the floor. Clavor's 'fianceé' fixes her eyes on him.


JENAVIAN: Which branch are you with?

Crichton couldn't answer if he wanted to. He sits half slumped on the edge, watching her closely but still panting heavily.

JENAVIAN: Which branch?

Jena watches him panting, finally getting the message that he can't answer just yet. She approaches him slowly, stepping over the bodies, introducing herself while Crichton regains his breath.

JENAVIAN: Jenavian Chatto, Distruptor, Peacekeeper Special Directorate. Which branch?

CRICHTON: You should know I can't tell you that.

JENAVIAN: Frell! Trust them to send in backup and not tell me.

CRICHTON: Yeah, well, if it makes you feel any better, they did the same thing to me.

Jenavian turns back to the bodies of the assassins. Crichton attempts to look casual as he straightens his red silk pajama duds, and tries to clean himself up a bit.

CRICHTON: So-- what's your assignment?

Jenavian wanders around the room, checking on the failed assassins-- kicking one for good measure.

JENAVIAN: Stay close to Prince Clavor-- my vapid little fianceé, and if he assumes the throne, kill him.

CRICHTON: Well, that makes sense.

Jena returns to the bed, peering closely into Crichton's eyes.

JENAVIAN: I admire your dedication. Wouldn't let them make me a statue for 80 cycles.

CRICHTON: Interesting coincidence. I was just having the same thought.

JENAVIAN: Are you wavering?

CRICHTON: And if I am?

JENAVIAN: Would you hesitate to kill me-- if I jeopardized the mission?

A long pause... a very long pause.... while Crichton turns and assesses Jena as closely as she had assessed him.
CRICHTON: Jenavian-- right? Thanks.

Crichton bolts from the room, leaving Jena sitting on the bed, the room littered with bodies.



END COLD OPEN










OPENING CREDITS ROLL





MY name is John Crichton, an astronaut... ...a radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole... now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe, on a ship-- a living ship, full of strange alien life-forms.... Help me. Listen please... is there anybody out there who can hear me? ....I'm being hunted by an insane military commander... doing everything I can... I'm just looking for a way home.








ACT I





INT. PALACE -- Clavor's Quarters

Crichton walks into the Prince's Quarters unannounced, Clavor is trying to leave, but Crichton 'prevents' him. Crichton's in a foul mood. He grabs Clavor by the lapels and thrusts him back into the room.

CLAVOR: Get away from me. How dare you?

CRICHTON: You want a piece of me, hmm? Want a piece?

Crichton slaps the Prince upside the head a couple of times.

CLAVOR: Help! Guards, help!

Clavor tries to dart past his sister's irate fianceé, but Crichton grabs his face with one hand and walks him backward into his room.

CRICHTON: No, no, no, no, no. Guards are takin' five so the brothers-in-law can get to know one another.

CLAVOR: Look, I'm sorry if someone tried to kill you using my name-- they will pay!

CRICHTON: You're pathetic...

Crichton slaps him slightly on the cheeks twice more, the force used doing nothing more than batter the Prince's ego.

CLAVOR: You cannot strike me! I am royalty!

Crichton stares at the guy in disbelief, then balls up his fist and asserts his left against the prince's nose! He grabs him by the shirt again and sits him firmly down on the bed. A privacy screen in the background reveals the silouette of someone having a wash.

CLAVOR: ( groans ) What do you want?

JENAVIAN: Nothing darling.

Crichton is well... enormously pissed, but keeps a tight rein on it, along with a tight hold on Clavor's nose! Crushing the Prince's nose in a vicious grip, the sound of cartilage grinding, emphasizes Crichton's first statement.

CRICHTON: I want off this planet-- Now you're going to find a way to get Scorpius off my back.

Crichton, using his hold on Clavor's nose, nods Clavor's head up and down, indicating Clavor's agreement with his command. Jenavian's pleasant voice interjects on the moment from behind the privacy screen.

JENAVIAN: Have we company?

CRICHTON: Your sister... gets to marry who she wants... ( nods Clavor's head )... and you get to be king.

JENAVIAN: Clavor, I'm trying to bathe.

Crichton looks away from Clavor, sees Jenavian looking wet and sleek, her head now above the screen, one arm draped casually across the top.

CRICHTON: Oh, my. The future Mrs. Valiant. We're just getting to know one another. You should get dressed.

Crichton turns his attention back to Clavor, his expression grim.

CRICHTON: Do not try to kill me again. It makes me angry. ( nods Clavor's head )

RO-NAH:: Is everything all right?

CRICHTON: He needs a bath and a hug.

Crichton departs without fanfare.

CLAVOR: Get my mother. ( pause ) Get my mother!





INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- Corridor

Counselor Tyno strides through a non-descript palace hallway, dogged by D'Argo; the pair are followed by Crichton and Chiana.

D'ARGO: I demand better protection for him!

TYNO: You cannot assault a member of the ruling house.

CRICHTON: ( mildly ) Well, he was trying to have me killed.

CHIANA: You bitch-slapped the Trill.

CRICHTON: ( smirking )I did, yeah.

TYNO: We could find no evidence of an attack.

CRICHTON: Look, the same weapon that they used on me, was used to disintegrate the assailants, okay?

TYNO: By a mysterious savior you can't identify.

CRICHTON: I was having my ass wiped across the floor. I did not take time to--

D'ARGO: Are you doubting Crichton?

CHIANA: Well, it is a weird story--

D'ARGO: Chiana!

TYNO: I will upgrade security-- I will alert the Empress-- but I will not accuse the Prince of treason, without proof.

CRICHTON: But you believe me... don't you?

TYNO: The reason the charges against the Prince will be met with skepticism, is that the Empress, and by extension, the entire royal family, abhors personal violence.

To punctuate this point, Princess Katralla arrives in the hallway, grabs Crichton by his shoulder, pulling him around to face her. She hauls back and with practiced ease; applies a slap that *ROCKS* his world!

KATRALLA: ( coldly ) Follow me.

Katralla turns and walks away, with only a brief backward glance to ensure compliance. Crichton, left eye closed, likely stinging from the blow, gives D'Argo a glance just packed with irony-- a wry grin graces his features as well-- the moment-- is simply-- priceless!



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- Hallway / Private Room

Katralla holds a door open for Crichton to enter a private room-- he scoots by quickly, hunching his shoulders and wincing comically as she *slams* the door closed behind them. He turns slowly to face her and she stalks up to him, riven with cold anger.

KATRALLA: You humiliated me.

She reaches her arm *way* back and launches another stinging blow-- his head *rocks* under it.

CRICHTON: ( grunts ) That's enough, okay? You have made your point.

KATRALLA: I don't think I have. Clavor went to my mother and detailed your obnoxious behavior.

CRICHTON: My-obnoxious-behavior?

KATRALLA: Yes. My brother poisoned my DNA-- I know, I am *not* a fool-- but he would never kill anyone.

CRICHTON: Well, a Scarran might; they are playmates, you know that?

KATRALLA: Look, if you don't want to marry me, just say so.

CRICHTON: I already said so. Lady, we have been over this ground with a backhoe! It works for both of us-- it saves my life; it saves your ass.

Without *much* warning, Katralla reaches back and rocks Crichton's world with another solid smack to the face-- the girl can hit! *WHAM!*-- Crichton's face is getting a workout.

CRICHTON: Okay ... I did deserve that.

KATRALLA: My mother now considers you unstable.

CRICHTON: Hm.

KATRALLA: She wants more medical tests.

CRICHTON: Katralla, listen to me, your brother sent men to kill me. Now, 'John' cannot marry 'Katralla' if 'John' is not alive.

KATRALLA: Clavor is weak. I cannot believe he would participate in such a heinous act. That means you're lying... and if so, I can't marry you.



INTERCUT

INT. MOYA

PILOT: Zhaan. There's no doubt-- the smoke tendril has definately invaded Moya.

ZHAAN: Where? Pilot, which way?

PILOT: Directly above you. Moving into the Maintenance Bay.

ZHAAN: Pilot?

PILOT: Still moving through Moya's ducts overhead. Down the wall...

ZHAAN: Where? Which wall? Pilot, where?!

The smoke resolves itself into a form within the smoke cloud. Zhaan immediatey bows her head and begins a muted prayer.

KAHAYNU: Be calm, Priest. I am the ship's deity, not yours.

ZHAAN: Then you must be one of the ship's builders-- one of those who gave Leviathans intelligence.

KAHAYNU: Anybody can give a machine intelligence. We gave her a soul.

ZHAAN: Then, I welcome you aboard.

KAHAYNU: I have been through Moya's systems. She is in good health, and she has given birth.

ZHAAN: To a male offspring, named 'Talyn'.

KAHAYNU: A gunship.

PILOT: Not of her choosing. While held captive against--

Pilot's transmission on the clamshell is cut off.

KAHAYNU: Pilots do not speak to Kahaynu.

ZHAAN: A capricious diety.

KAHAYNU: We created these beasts as emissaries of peace.

ZHAAN: Then you have succeeded, Kahaynu. Moya is a gentle soul.

KAHAYNU: And is able to reproduce ships that can dispense carnage. I am here to decommission Moya. To end her existence.



INTERCUT

EXT. PALACE

Aeryn and Chiana sit at the edge of a lakeside.

AERYN: Honestly, Chiana, as long as Crichton's all right, I don't know what else I can do.

CHIANA: Go to him.

AERYN: He's already made his decision.

CHIANA: He needs us now. He needs you.

AERYN: He needs more bodyguards, and you said that's happening.

CHIANA: Have you even told him how you feel?

AERYN: He knows what he needs to know.

CHIANA: Look, Aeryn. All men are stupid, okay? Men; Stupid. If you want them to know something, you've got to tell them.

Dregon approaches, interrupting another private conversation. He crouches beside Aeryn in the grass.

DREGON: I trust I'm not disturbing you, but... I'm planning a trip to the edge of the barren lands to watch the Peligrinos migrate, and I thought...

AERYN: No, thank you.

DREGON: I sense unhappiness, that your friend Crichton is marrying our Princess.

AERYN: Oh, yes? And why would that make me unhappy?

DREGON: I simply offer myself as a diversion.

Dregon offers yet another 'compatibility vial'.

DREGON: Besides, you never know... we could be, uh... extremely compatable.

Aeryn takes the vial and glances back over her shoulder at Chiana, then looks into Dregon's eyes. Without glancing away, she tosses the vial over her opposite shoulder-- its disappearance is quickly followed by a gentle splash as it lands in the lake.

AERYN: Now, dont feel bad. It's not you; it's me. I don't like you.

DREGON: Well... you certainly have made your feelings clear.

AERYN: Mm-hm.



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- PRIVATE ROOM

Crichton sits on a couch while Katralla circles behind it, and then sits beside him.

KATRALLA: So, now you want to marry.

CRICHTON: Well, it works for the situation.

KATRALLA: Look, John, I'd like to believe you, but our investigators have uncovered no trace of the events you describe.

CRICHTON: What about the guard that was killed when they came after me? Where's he?

KATRALLA: He could be anywhere.

CRICHTON: Yeah, he's everywhere; he's in heaven.

As Crichton gestures 'heavenward', he notices a large metallic orb hanging in the air above them. It slowly lowers, lights blinking and humming. Crichton and Katralla eye it with vague curiosity... the orb beeps at this scrutiny.

CRICHTON: Do we... know this...?

KATRALLA: I've never seen anything like it before.

CRICHTON: Obi Wan had one... 'cept his was a lot smaller.

They both stand and move toward the door, ducking under the orb as it follows them. Katralla reaches the door and tries to open it, while Crichton watches the orb warily.

KATRALLA: John! It's locked!

CRICHTON: What?!

Crichton tries the door as well, taking his eyes off the orb only momentarily. The door refuses to open and Katralla starts pounding on it, shouting for help. The orb approaches them, lowering slightly. Crichton takes a wild swing at it. The orb rises swiftly and begins to emit a heavy white vapor.

KATRALLA: Hello? Hello. Can anyone hear me? Open the door! Hello?!

CRICHTON: Get down! Get down!

Unable to reach the orb, Crichton dashes across the room and tries to smash out a small window. Katralla remains at the door, pounding on it, calling for help. They both begin coughing as the vapor rapidly fills the room.

KATRALLA: Can anyone hear me? Hello? Hello! Open the door!

Crichton abandons his attempt to break through the window and runs back through the smoke filled room, pulling Katralla to the floor with him.

CRICHTON: Katralla! Get down!

Lying on flat on the ground, their faces pressed close to the floor, coughing as the vapor continues to decend. Crichton looks for a way out, but visibility is nil.

CRICHTON: Is there another way out?

KATRALLA: I don't think so.

CRICHTON: ( choked ) Just keep your face on the floor-- shallow breaths.

KATRALLA: John...

CRICHTON: What?

Looking up from the floor, Crichton sees a form resolving in the smoke, it's eyes glowing red, it draws closer and beckons them to follow.

RO-NAH:: This way!

CRICHTON: What?

RO-NAH:: Come on. This way!

CRICHTON: Katralla, come on.

Crichton pulls Katralla's arm, urging her to follow him, crawling on the floor-- following ro-Nah's form as it retreats through the smoke filled room.



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- Hallway

Outside the smoke filled room, ro-Nah, Crichton and Katralla sprawl on the floor of the hallway, still coughing badly, but recovering.

KATRALLA: I doubted you... I'm sorry.

CRICHTON: That's all right. It's just a burden being right all the time.

KATRALLA: Your word is worthy. I will marry you.



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- Yet another room

NOVIA: That's unacceptable, Dominar Rygel. John Crichton may not leave this planet, but I will protect him.

RYGEL: ( chuckles ) I've noticed how efficient that is.

NOVIA: Security was tripled. This device was unknown to us. There was no way we could predict its application.

RYGEL: You know why it's unknown to you? Because it's probably Scarran-- the same Scarran who's in conspiracy with your son.

NOVIA: Silence. You may have once ruled 600 billion, but you will not besmirch my son's name.

RYGEL: ( snorting ) Aren't we past that, Novia? You posture and deny any longer, and we both lose what we want.

NOVIA: If Crichton leaves, he will flee.

RYGEL: Not... if you control the situation. Stash him somewhere. Moya's gone, he's got nowhere to go. At least give yourself time to identify the conspirators, other than your son. ( chuckles )

NOVIA: ( sighs ) Are you familiar with the Jackench race?

RYGEL: The little green creature who saved Crichton and your daughter?

NOVIA: Precisely. Her eldest counsel has sent a ship filled with wedding gifts. It orbits, unattended, unnoticed.

RYGEL: ( chuckling ) Excellent thinking. Do you employ a detail of guards above treason?

NOVIA: I shall send my very own Paladins.

RYGEL: I propose we tell no one-- not my shipmates, or your daughter. Let them all think that Crichton's disappeared.

NOVIA: Hm. Throw them off the scent-- encourage those who are intent on assassination to grow careless.

RYGEL: Precisely. You are most wise, Empress.

NOVIA: And you are most manipulative, Dominar.

RYGEL: ( chuckles ) This servant-- you trust it?

NOVIA: With my secrets and my life. ro-Nah will not betray us.



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- Private Room

Scorpius, PK Skipper, and ro-Nah, conspiring together-- go figure. PK Skipper attends to Scorpius' needs, the coolant rod carriage whirs outward from his skull, and she ably replaces the red rod with a fresh new, blue rod, the carriage whirs back into his skull. ro-Nah watches the entire process, entirely weirded out about it.

SCORPIUS: Something wrong?

RO-NAH:: It's so much currency.

SCORPIUS: One quarter down payment for your excellent services, three times as much... upon completion of your assignment. ( sighs ) Do you know what this is?

RO-NAH:: A transequence ident wafer?

SCORPIUS: Do you know what to do with it?

RO-NAH:: Yes.

SCORPIUS: Good.

Scorpius drags ro-Nah onto his lap and she squeals in fright.

SCORPIUS: I predict that very shortly you'll be the wealthiest Jackench in this part of the galaxy.

RO-NAH:: Thank you.

Scorpius releases her and she scurries away.

SCORPIUS: Interesting creature.

PK SKIPPER: Pitiful, really.

SCORPIUS: Notify Lieutenant Braca that at the conclusion of this mission there are to be no... witnesses left behind.

PK Skipper departs.

SCORPIUS: Oh, to be there when the scales fall from John Crichton's eyes. ( snarls )



END ACT I








ACT II



INT. TRANSPORT POD

CRICHTON: We are clear.

PALADIN: No one following.

CRICHTON: You show the way.

RO-NAH:: Dominar Rygel said you must insert this before ascending.

CRICHTON: I've already altered our transequence identity code. We won't track as a Leviathan transport pod.

RO-NAH:: He said it was a last minute security procedure in case we've been compromised. I'm sorry, I don't understand these things.

CRICHTON: I do not like skipping out without people knowing.

RO-NAH:: I thought that was the point.

CRICHTON: The point is... to hide from my enemies, not my friends.

PALADIN: Your Highness, the two attempts on your life demand extreme security.

RO-NAH:: And Counselor Tyno will be looking for this new code on his tracking screen.

Crichton grudgingly accepts this logic, and the chip, but he does not like it.

CRICHTON: All right. Thank you.

Crichton switches out the transequence ident chips, slapping in the new one in place.

CRICHTON: Buckle in, boys and girls. Emergency exits, hammond side...

Crichton shoo's ro-Nah out of the left hand pilots chair.

CRICHTON: I'm driving.



INTERCUT

MOYA

ZHAAN: Pilot! You must arrest her actions. Moya cannot be doing this willingly.

PILOT: She is shutting her own systems down in sequence. I cannot override.

ZHAAN: Moya... hear me! Whatever this Kahaynu has done to you... it is not in your self-interest.

KAHAYNU: How ego-centric-- as if your way were the only way.

ZHAAN: I am a priest. I have long ago come to terms with the idea that alien life practices alien ritual. But, all life cherishes life!

KAHAYNU: Moya can reproduce gunships. Moya must be decommissioned. She trusts my suggestion to guide her.

ZHAAN: You will never convince me that Moya is doing this willingly.

KAHAYNU: Then let her do it.

MOYA: Moya... fulfilled...

ZHAAN: Moya.

MOYA: Moya... go... willing... willing... willing... yes... peace...

ZHAAN: This is an abomination. I am so filled with uncharitable rage. ... No!



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE

D'Argo, Chiana, and Aeryn confront poor Counselor Tyno-- and Rygel, regarding the disappearance of a friend.

D'ARGO: You weren't going to tell us that John was leaving the planet?!

RYGEL: It wasn't my idea! Grab Empress Novia by the throat if you dare!

AERYN: When did the Transport Pod disappear?

TYNO: Immediately after passing through our weather layer. There's been no signal from it whatsoever.

CHIANA: Oh. Did it explode?

TYNO: Not that I can tell.

D'ARGO: Was it commandeered?

AERYN: Could it have landed somewhere?

TYNO: No!

D'ARGO: This is Scorpius, I'm sure of it.

D'Argo stalks out, in search of the half-breed.

AERYN: No, it's the Scarran--

Aeryn tries to leave in search of the Scarran, but Chiana stops her.

CHIANA: Hey! Hey, hey, you and the Scarran... not a good idea. Remember the last time? Let me try first.

Chiana darts out before Aeryn can contradict her.

RYGEL: I'll, uh... be with the Empress.

Rygel tries to slide is Thronesled past Aeryn unnoticed, but she thwacks him a good one upside the head before he can escape. He grunts and makes good his escape, leaving Aeryn and Tyno alone.

TYNO: I'm sorry. I know the worst is being left behind.

Tyno leaves... leaving Aeryn alone in the room.



INTERCUT

INT. TRANSPORT POD

Crichton and ro-Nah sit in the forward seats on the Transport Pod, the two Paladins, Crichton's guards, lurk in the background; guarding.

CRICHTON: Is there a reason your ship is so far from the others?

RO-NAH:: It's an automated cargo runner. Isolation makes it harder to find and discourages looters.

CRICHTON: And why would someone want to loot an empty cargo runner?

RO-NAH:: Only empty of crew. It is filled with wedding presents for the Princess and yourself.

CRICHTON: Presents? No, no, no, no, no. You have done enough. I'm going to talk to the missus. You can keep the presents. You need a toaster, right?

RO-NAH:: Toaster, toaster, toaster. Oh, I-I couldn't... Highness.

CRICHTON: It's John. Look, I'm going to be a statue for 80 cycles. Someone ought to use this stuff while the warranties are still good.

RO-NAH:: Our culture frowns on acquisition. We live to serve, not to possess.

CRICHTON: So you don't own our own stuff?

RO-NAH:: No. To what end does possessory wealth serve?

CRICHTON: Whoa. Good question. Uh... before I left Earth, I had a lot of things that were... very important to me.

RO-NAH:: No more?

CRICHTON: ( sighs ) I live in a converted cell. I don't have a VCR, no remote control... damn, no Charlie Parker albums. And I do miss my '62 T-Bird.

RO-NAH:: ( whispering ) T-Bird, T-Bird, T-Bird... oh... T-Bird.

CRICHTON: But you discover you need very little.

RO-NAH:: Uh, do you miss not having these things?

CRICHTON: Not really. Priorities change.

RO-NAH:: I often wonder what I would do with wealth.

CRICHTON: Well, I tell you what. If there's ever anything I can do to help you find it... you let me know.

RO-NAH:: I shall remember those words, Highness.

CRICHTON: It's "John".

RO-NAH:: Yes, Highness, yes.



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE

Jena and Kat primp inside the 'ladies'

JENAVIAN: Poor Katralla. So unaware of what it takes.

KATRALLA: To be a 'slut', Jenavian?

JENAVIAN: To keep a man. I heard yours ran off rather than marry you.

KATRALLA: Somebody tried to kill him-- probably my brother, your fianceé. What does that say about you?

JENAVIAN: Honestly? That I pick winners.

KATRALLA: You disgust me.

The sniping match is interrupted by Aeryn, arriving unexpectedly, she presses a couple of matching faces against the mirror to emphasis her point.

AERYN: Hello ladies.

KATRALLA: Let go of me! Let go of me!

AERYN: Hope I'm not disturbing; now, listen to me closely so that there is no misunderstanding. I don't know what game's being played on this little planet of yours, and I don't really care. What I care about is that a good friend of mine is not hurt, in any sense of the word. And if he is, I will personally take revenge on both of your overly made up faces.

Aeryn departs as quickly as she came, both Jena and Kat resume primping, attempting to maintain their composure in front of each other. Kat departs soon after, presumably to tell on Aeryn.



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- Private Room

Clavor and the Scarran plot together, well Clavor mostly whines, before being interrupted.

CLAVOR: He came into my chambers, and he affronted me b-before my fianceé! I will have his head on a post...!

CARGN: Your Highness, silence. Your gas attack on Crichton and the Princess succeeded. He has fled. You have won.

CLAVOR: I assumed the gas attack was yours. I wouldn't kill my own sister.

CARGN: Then you are perhaps unworthy be be Regent. Nevertheless, this imposter to the crown is gone. Your sister's birthversary approaches in two solar days.

Chiana busts in on the party.

CHIANA: Am I interrupting? Hey... ( chuckles ) Well of course I am. Yeah, yeah... it's so, so hard to conduct a conspiracy without privacy. Well, ask me. I should know.

CLAVOR: What do you want?

CHIANA: I'm a Nebari. You may have heard of us.

CARGN: Leave this room now, child.

CHIANA: Well, you also may have heard how we can defeat full command carriers, not to mention, uh... mind cleansing.

CARGN: We are both impressed and daunted. By all means, Nebari, continue.

CHIANA: So, uh... if anything happens to John Crichton, expect, uh... expect retribution. Yeah. Retribution. ( whispering ) Frell.

Chiana beats a hasty retreat.

CLAVOR: What was the hezmana was that all about?

CARGN: They don't know where he is either. You are going to rule.



INTERCUT

EXT. SPACE

The Transport Pod approaches and docks with an orbiting freighter.



INTERCUT

INT. FREIGHTER

A large door opens with a high-pitched whine, silhouettes in the darkness define the two paladins flanking the much taller Crichton as they enter the Freighter. An alarm sounds and emergency lights begin to rotate.

COMPUTER VOICE: Invader alert! Invader alert! 20 microts to forced-depressurization.

ro-Nah darts past Crichton and his guards, heading toward the forward control room. Shortly after she disappears inside, the alarm stops.

RO-NAH:: [O.V.] Occupant lighting low.

Ambient lightening increases dramatically. Crichton and the Paladins are temporarily blinded by the light. Crichton merely squints up into the light, while the Paladins shield their eyes with white Pulse Rifles.

RO-NAH:: [O.V.] Reduce by half.

The lighting reduces to a more comfortable level. Crichton and the Paladins move forward.

CRICHTON: Wow. This place sure has an interesting smell. It's not exactly a five-star hotel, is it? But at least it's off the main road.

A sudden burst of pulse fire and the Paladin guarding Crichton's rear is taken out.

PALADIN: Get down!

Another burst of pulse fire, and the Paladin guarding Crichton's flank is taken down.

Crichton crouches quickly, bending over the Paladin's body, he grabs for the fallen pulse rifle, he isn't quick enough. A shadowy form presses the muzzle of a pulse pistol against his neck.


MALE VOICE: Don't.

Crichton freezes, he turns his head slightly toward the weapon pressed to his neck and sees a familiar face. Scorpius' minion, Lieutenant Braca.

BRACA: Oh, how dissapointing you are in the flesh.

CRICHTON: Oh, I get that all the time.

BRACA: To think of all the energy Scorpius expended on you.

CRICHTON: Yeah, I'm not crazy about it either.

Crichton stands slowly, wary of the pulse pistol still pressed against his neck.

BRACA: Notify Scorpius as instructed. Subpost shielded frequency.

ro-Nah appears from her hiding place, and crosses to the communications console, implementing Braca's order. Braca smirks at Crichton.

BRACA: A little reunion is in order, don't you think? Hm?



END ACT II










ACT III



INT. FREIGHTER

Crichton sits at a chair in the forward control room. Braca stands over him, holding his weapon trained on him.

RO-NAH:: I've cut his Transport loose. It's drifting away.

BRACA: The Marauder that's coming to pick us up will need to dock in its place.

RO-NAH:: Now where's the rest of my payment

BRACA: When Crichton is safely aboard the command carrier.

RO-NAH:: That wasn't my arrangement with Scorpius. I want my payment.

The debate is interrupted by a high-pitched beeping.

BRACA: Ah, that will be him now.

ro-Nah crosses the control room to the communications console, Crichton notes her passing and temporarily abandoning his 'thinking' pose, he points an angry finger at ro-Nah.

CRICHTON: You do not get the toaster.

ro-Nah gives Crichton a very familiar 'huh'? look, and Crichton returns to his internal musings.

CRICHTON: So, no one knows where we are.

BRACA: Both yours and this vessel have radically altered transequence ident codes, which identify us... as derelict refuelers.

An image of Scorpius appears as a holographic projection.

SCORPIUS: [O.H.] Inventive. Evasive. In custody. My commendations, Lieutenant Braca. See to it that our... quarry... remains secure.

RO-NAH:: I want my payment.

SCORPIUS: [O.H.] But of course. Lieutenant, reward our Jackench friend, and at the conclusion of the mission, give her something... additional... from me.

ro-Nah sighs in extreme satisfaction.

SCORPIUS: [O.H.] Your admirable associate, Ka D'Argo, was just here to see me. Of course, since I have no idea where you are, he left feeling... well... unfulfilled.

CRICHTON: Why don't you leave me alone, Scorpy?

SCORPIUS: [O.H.] Because, the wormhole knowledge locked in your brain, makes you, to my knowledge, unique in the galaxy.

CRICHTON: Unique...

SCORPIUS: [O.H.] And unique is always valuable. Yes.

The holo-projection of Scorpius winks out.

CRICHTON: ( mumbling ) ... unique ... unique...

Crichton reaches up, flicking a control on the console overhead.

BRACA: Stop, or I will shoot you.

CRICHTON: Really?

Crichton stands quickly, turning toward Braca.

CRICHTON: You promise?

BRACA: Sit down.

Braca turns Crichton around, trying to force him to sit. Crichton resists the direction. Choosing to stand.

BRACA: I said sit down!

CRICHTON: Or what? You're going to shoot me?

BRACA: If I have to.

CRICHTON: Do me the favor. I don't think so, you know. I don't think Scorpy is going to give you your badge of commendation... if you shoot 'unique'.

Braca steps back and adjusts the aim of the pulse pistol.

BRACA: Sit down! Or I'll shoot your limbs off, one at a time.

Crichton waves his hands in the air, dismissively.

CRICHTON: Uh, uh. No, no, no. See-- Human, Sebacean, Human, Sebacean-- we're different. One wound-- I bleed out. ( imitating Scorpy ) "Oh, Officer Braca! What the frell happened!" Huh? Mm-hm. Fine. Let's do it! Let's do this thing!

Crichton grabs Braca's pistol, and presses the muzzle firmly agains his own forehead. Braca desperately tries to maintain control of the weapon, but he can't pull it away.

CRICHTON: Come on! Shoot me, right here! Right here! ( pause ) Oh, no, no, no, not the brain... he wants the brain...

A thoughfully manic Crichton, adjusts the aim of the pistol, while Braca grips it desperately, shooting wordless pleas for help at ro-Nah, but she is too terror-stricken to move.

Crichton begins a litany of locations where Braca might best shoot him... Braca continues to struggle in vain for control of the weapon.


CRICHTON: The heart, here... the heart... shoot me in the heart... uh, kind of your left, right? Oh, yeah! My right, your left... my left, your right.

Crichton wobbles the aim of the pistol, pressing it to his chest, left, then dragging it right. Not satisfied with this aim, or the best location, he aims the weapon lower down.

CRICHTON: Here, John Wayne Bobbitt. Vienna Boys' Choir! ( sings a soprano note... off key )

BRACA: You're insane!

Crichton adjusts the aim of the pistol yet again, pressing the muzzle into the palm of his right hand. Braca hangs on for dear life!

CRICHTON: My sex life! Kill my sex life! Now, quick, shoot! Just shoot!!

Crichton braces himself for the shot, but it doesn't come. Abruptly, he releases the weapon and stalks away across the control room, muttering 'something' to himself. Reaching the communication station he begins flipping random controls, switches and dials, moving across all the control consoles as he moves. The panels emit electronic beeping noises. ro-Nah, finally leaps into action, she tries to pull Crichton away from a control console, but just as she touches him, he spins around, a completely manic gleam in his eye, pressing an index finger against his neck.

CRICHTON: Ah! Get back! Get back, or the white boy gets it!

ro-Nah steps back gasping.

CRICHTON: ( voiced altered for the full effect ) Oh, man! Don't let 'em kill me! Don't let-- ( in 'normal' voice) You people are so dumb!

Crichton turns back to the consoles, continuing to toy with random controls.

BRACA: Sit down!

Crichton finally obeys the order, but he continues flipping switches and dials on the console in front of the chair, playing the controls like piano keys. The controls bleep and whine randomly.

BRACA: What's he doing?

RO-NAH:: No, no, no! Coolant, comms, cyclic fuel generation! Generators cabling! Weapons priming!

BRACA: Weapons?!

ro-Nah whimpers and Crichton continues 'playing' the control console. Braca finally grabs him and pulls him away from the panel. Crichton wanders to the back of the room while Braca tries to shut the weapons down.

BRACA: Shut down! Shut the weapons down!

CRICHTON: Oh, oh, oh! Shut 'em down yourself, Braca! Shut 'em down yourself!

MALE VOICE: ( over comms ) Undeclared craft. You have engaged weaponry in a tactical-free zone surrounding the Royal Planet.

CRICHTON: Excuse me! Should I get that?

BRACA: Stay away from the comms! Stay away from the comms! I said get-- Crichton!

Crichton flings his hands into the air and moves away from the comms station.

MALE VOICE: ( over comms ) Undeclared craft... ... a tactical-free zone. Identify yourselves immediately.

CRICHTON: ( doing a brilliantly manic Dennis Hopper ) We're so screwed, man! We're gonna die!

The automatic pulse cannons begin firing on the freighter. All additional hell breaks loose inside.

BRACA: Shut down now!

In the back of the room, Crichton dances madly!

CRICHTON: Whoo, whoo, whoo!

ro-Nah shrieks and attacks Crichton, he lifts her up easily and slams her to the deck... it's WWF in the uncharted territories!

Crichton grunts and yells, flexing his biceps. ro-Nah charges him again, but he dodges her easily. She turns and charges him again, he grabs her by the arms.
CRICHTON: Ho, ho, ho!

Crichton flings ro-Nah backward and she collides with the wall, exposed electronic circuits fry her throughly as she screams, and then slumps to the floor, quite dead.

CRICHTON: Oh.

BRACA: Oh, frell!

Braca attempts to slip by Crichton, making for the exit. Crichton dives on top of him, pinning him to the deck.

BRACA: You're insane!

CRICHTON: What? You're just figuring that out?! I though that was common knowledge!

BRACA: We have to get out of here now!

CRICHTON: Oh, really? All right then!

Crichton pulls Braca to his feet and marches him to the exit, flinging him up against the hatch.

BRACA: Do you want us both to die?!

CRICHTON: You didn't think I was going to go alone, did you?

Crichton steps back and Braca takes the opportunity to spin about, smashing him in the face with the helmet of his pressure suit. Crichton sprawls face down on the deck and Braca exits through the airlock.

BRACA: Bye, Crichton! The ship's yours, but I've got the helmet!

Crichton staggers to his feet, watching Braca escape through the hatch portal. He's in a towering frenzy, jumping up and down, flailing his arms and screaming.

CRICHTON: Frell! Frell! Frell! Frell! Frell! Frell! Frell! Frell! Frell! Frell! Frell! ( shouts incoherently )

Crichton stalks back into the control room, he's completely out of control, the ship is falling apart around him under the assault of the automated pulse cannons. Reaching the comms station, Crichton tries to communicate with the planet.

CRICHTON: This is John Crichton! I'm in the ship that--

An explosion rocks the freighter.

CRICHTON: This is John Crichton!

Another explosion rocks the vessel, the comms station flares with electric discharge. Crichton abandons hope of reaching someone over comms, and turning, he walks out of the control room, then stops, defeated-- out of options. A familiar voice prompts him from within.

SCORPIUS: "Focus, John. Panic is unacceptable. You will survive."

CRICHTON: No!

SCORPIUS: "You must survive."

CRICHTON: No!

SCORPIUS: "You've come to far to die."

Unable to argue longer with this voice, he walks back to the exit hatch, retrieving a pulse rifle on the way. Panting heavily, panic barely restrainted, the interior hatch slides open before him and he steps into the airlock. He stands briefly at the exterior door, looking out the portal.

CRICHTON: Never get off the boat. Never get off the boat, man!!

One final exhale, and the exterior hatch opens-- Crichton dives into the void of space!

( And we all go, "o-my-god!" What follows is 52 seconds of heart-pounding, gut-wrenching cinema! )



INTERCUT

EXT. SPACE

Floating in space in his street clothes, Crichton spins away from the freighter, when his spin faces him toward the freighter, which is still under heavy attack, he fires the pulse rifle, propelling him faster toward the floating Transport Pod.

The time spent in vacuum is interminable, finally, the freighter gives way under the assault of the cannons and explodes. Debris from the freighter, and Crichton, are propelled rapidly toward the transport pod. Crichton latches onto the hatch and pulls himself inside.

Still floating in vacuum in the airlock of the Transport Pod, Crichton pulls himself up the access way, his features twisted in agony.




INTERCUT

INT. TRANSPORT POD

The interior airlock door opens with a whir, Crichton staggers in across the open hatchway, manages a few steps and collapses on the deck. His body convulses as it draws oxygen into his deprived lungs. Finally with oxygen to spare, his head is flung back, eyes swollen, a trickle of blood leaking from his nose, and he howls out his agony.



END ACT III








ACT IV



INT. MOYA

Zhaan wanders around the darkened ship.
ZHAAN: Kahaynu! Present yourself! Kahaynu, I will speak with you now!

KAHAYNU: The spirit of the warrior resides in your priestliness.

ZHAAN: The spirit of the executioner within yours.

KAHAYNU: Pointless recriminations. Is there anything else you wish?

ZHAAN: As a symbiotic part of Moya, Pilot is trapped. Build him a new ship so he... he does not perish needlessly.

KAHAYNU: We are not prepared to do more than we have. You should say goodbye before it is too late.

ZHAAN: This is wrong. I will not allow this!



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- The Regent's Quarters

Crichton's laid out on the padded bench at the foot of his bed, a clear plastic mask over his face. Lights on the electrodes seated in the mask flicker randomly.

D'ARGO: I've, uh... spoken to the Empress, John. She's not going to do anything.

CRICHTON: ( muffled ) Three... near-death experiences in a day... and she's going to do nothing.

D'ARGO: The Empress has put Scorpius on notice, the Scarran too, her son, everyone. Security's so tight, that last night they burst into my room just as Chiana was, um... screaming.

Crichton removes the mask and sits on the bed next to D'Argo, rubbing his face and eyes gently with his fingertips.

CRICHTON: I'm tired of this.

D'ARGO: It's all politics, John. As a neutral powerful kingdom-- they expel someone during coronation, it will have negative consequences which will ripple outwards.

CRICHTON: You know, you're starting to sound like an old history professor.

D'ARGO: Rygel's been very... excellent at teaching me.

CRICHTON: So. Nothing has changed. Options?

D'ARGO: Okay... you could run as you did before, or you can submit, and stay here. Either way, I'll back whatever you do.

Crichton notes that Aeryn has entered the room and is standing quietly near the exit. He points, drawing D'Argo's attention to her presence. D'Argo rests his hand briefly on Crichton's shoulder, then rising he passes Aeryn as he leaves. Aeryn approaches the bed and sits on the bench facing Crichton, he's still resting his face in his hands-- the very expression of weariness.

AERYN: I'm very proud of you.

CRICHTON: Really.

AERYN: Yes.

CRICHTON: Why?

AERYN: Being Crichton-- the Crichton I always knew.

CRICHTON: Yeah? Getting my ass kicked all over the universe?

AERYN: Putting yourself in a position to get your ass kicked. Fighting, resisting, never giving up.

CRICHTON: Aeryn, is there a way off this planet? Have you convinced Scorpius to stop chasing me? The Empress... is she no longer intent on her daughter being heir to the throne?

AERYN: Those are not good reasons for getting married.

CRICHTON: I know. Bigger picture. Let's say that the idiot son inherits the throne. He starts wars, he makes bad alliances, millions of people die. ( pause ) 80 cycles. It's not that long of a time.

AERYN: Oh, so you've rationalized this all out, have you?!

CRICHTON: Aeryn. I'm tired. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do when there's no fight left?

AERYN: You run away.

Hesitantly, Crichton reaches out and gathers a small lock of her hair in his fingers, toying with it gently.

CRICHTON: With you?

AERYN: With all of us... together.

Crichton strokes her hair gently, and moves to stroke her chin but pulls his hand back before it can make actual contact. He slides back on the bed.

AERYN: What? You can't just quit!

Crichton lowers his back onto the bed, tucking a pillow and then his hands under his head, he stares at the ceiling.

CRICHTON: I'm not quitting. I just can't go on.

AERYN: Was I wrong? You're no longer the Crichton I knew?

Crichton is silent, his gaze locked on the ceiling. Aeryn turns and leaves.



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE

Aeryn passes Dregon, who's being fitted for something red. She pauses momentarily on her way out.

AERYN: I'm exploring the barren lands... if you think you can keep up.

Aeryn blows out of the room, Dregon hot on her heels.



INTERCUT

Crichton lies on the bed, curled on his side, knees pulled up, arms wrapped around himself, but his eyes are open, staring into the near distance. Suddenly he rises, looking as if he might follow Aeryn, but doesn't make it past the foot of the bed. Slowly he sits again, resting his face on his hands.

INTERCUT

INT. MOYA

PILOT: Moya has... slipped from my conciousness... she is gone and... I am shortly to follow.

Zhaan sighs and strokes Pilots cheek gently.

PILOT: Don't feel sad. Our lives were good. Moya is right. We are... fulfilled.

ZHAAN: Pilot... it has been a pleasure.

PILOT: I... am... ready now... I have seen... the stars...



INTERCUT

INT. PALACE -- The Wedding

Crichton enters, looking exquisite in his red wedding garb. He greets his future brother in law.
CRICHTON: Hey, bro. Glad to see you could make it.

Clavor gives him a distainful look and moves away. Crichton allows himself a small smile.

Jenavian appears briefly, quietly giving her well wishes before moving away.


JENAVIAN: ( whispering ) Much fortune.

Crichton's next visitor appears just as unexpectedly, but Crichton handles it well, allowing himself another slight smile.

SCORPIUS: You're making a, uh... mistake, Crichton.

CRICHTON: Oh, I don't think so, Scorpy. I had one request for a wedding present-- that you be banned from this planet forever. Do you know what they said? "Yes, your Highness".

SCORPIUS: Oh.

Scorpius moves off, just as dramatic music begins to play. Crichton looks toward the far doorway, watching as Katralla enters on the arm of the current Regent, her father. The crowd begins to kneel, and so, following suit, Crichton also moves to bent knee, but is stopped by a whisper from the Empress.

NOVIA: Not you.

Katralla and her Father move through the crowd, greeting all the guests, lightly touching hand to upraised hands. They make a circuit of the crowd, finally stopping at Crichton's side.

NOVIA: In the presence of the spirit of all who have sacrificed so that we may rule ourselves in peace, I call public the joining of my daughter and her betrothed in the sacred ceremony that shall ensure compassionate governance, and harmony. Should anyone among you, feel cause to sway the will of love, to question the ability, the sincerity, or the destiny of this union... rise now, and be heard.

Crichton surveys the crowd, among them, his friends, save Aeryn, and his many enemies. No one makes a sound. Well, the Scarran growls quietly. He appears to have a last hope that someone... perhaps Tyno, would stop this train wreck. This hope is crushed.

NOVIA: With your silence as benediction, I invite you to now rise, and witness the crux of power pass from one generation to the next. You will now be wed.

Novia steps away from where she had been standing, between her daughter and betrothed. Crichton, one final hope, looks to Katralla, but that hope also is crushed as the dimwit girl smiles beautifically at her intended.



END ACT IV








EPILOGUE





INT. PALACE -- The Wedding

Crichton and Katralla stand side by side, their joined hands bound lightly by a red ribbon. The crowd surrounding them watches in silence.

NOVIA: It is more obligation than honor. You are not only responsible for each other, but for the lives of your subjects. Do you accept this burden in matrimony?

KATRALLA: Without hesistation.

After a slight hesitation.

CRICHTON: Without hesitation.

Novia steps forward, pulling the ribbon from their joined hands. Crichton, appears to be in deep shock here, he blinks blearily as the Empress approaches, then watches his hand as she pulls the ribbon off-- he seems deeply facinated by their hands, which remain pressed together, even without the ribbon.

NOVIA: As reigning monarch, it gives me great pleasure to formally introduce our successors. The future Empress and Regent of this great and peaceful civilization: Katralla, and John.

Crichton just stands, dumbstruck or numb, or numbstruck, who knows! The crowd applauds diligently.

RYGEL: ( muttering ) Magnificent. I smell power again. ( chuckles )

Katralla turns to Crichton, she kisses him gently and embraces him warmly, whispering a message to him.

KATRALLA: Pieces of different kindling often build the strongest fire.

And if he wasn't just in such deep shock, the whole thing would be totally cool. Katralla moves into the crowd, accepting well wishes from family and friends. Crichton seeks out his friends.

KATRALLA: ( greeting a guest ) Thank you.

Crichton's friends find him in the crowd.

CHIANA: Hey, you were great.

CRICHTON: Where was she, D'Argo?

D'ARGO: You must forget about Aeryn, John.

KATRALLA: ( greeting a guest ) Thank you.

CRICHTON: I, uh... recorded some messages. Um, Zhaan, Pilot, and... Aeryn.

CHIANA: Yeah, I'll make sure they get them.

CRICHTON: Thanks.

Chiana takes the recorded chips from Crichton, and then embraces him.

CHIANA: Hey, I love you.

CRICHTON: I know.

D'ARGO: All right. Enough with the kissing and the cuddling.

KATRALLA: John.

Crichton looks toward Katralla, standing inside the 'gizmo' that will turn them into statues for 80 cycles.

KATRALLA: I will stand beside you for 80 cycles with love in my heart, and long for the day when we may revive.

Crichton nods and smiles slightly, watching as the machine beeps and whirs. Cold, internal fire courses through Katralla's form, converting her from living flesh to motionless statue. Hmm. looks kinda like 'carbonite'

CRICHTON: Whoa.

D'ARGO: Whoa.

The crowd applauds again! Tyno joins Crichton, one final 'surprise' for him.

TYNO: It's calibrated only for Sebaceans. Endure the pain... and rule wisely.

Taking this latest shock quite well, considering everything else, Crichton lowers his head, rubbing his eyes in disbelief.

D'ARGO: The time has come for farewells, my friend.

CRICHTON: Oh, this is not happening. Just feel free to wake me up anytime D'Argo.

Crichton steps up inside the 'gizmo', standing beside frozen Katralla.

D'ARGO: Well, now I can only speak the truth. And that comes as good and bad news.

CRICHTON: ( sighing ) All right. Give me the bad news first.

D'ARGO: The bad news is that you are married, and you must endure as a statue for 80 cycles in a strange world.

Crichton eyes his friend with wry disbelief

CRICHTON: What's the good news?

D'ARGO: ( absolute deadpan ) Chiana and I are having fantastic sex.

Crichton turns his head, peering at his friend, not believing what he's just heard. D'Argo grins and starts laughing. D'Argo's grin is slowly echoed on Crichton's face, and he begins laughing in kind with his friend. Laughing still, he turns back to the onlooking crowd, lifting both arms in triumph, he flings a double "V" for victory sign.

CRICHTON: Whoo!

A buzzing whir signals the machines activity and the cold internal fire races up Crichton's body. He has a singularly different response. Screaming in agony, he drops to one knee, his features contorted, his arms seem to fending off an unseen assailant. His scream fades with the completion of the process, his body converted to lifeless statue. The crowd applauds again. D'Argo sighs heavily, the bravado and laughter gone, replaced by an immense weight of anger, sadness and guilt. The crowd continues their applause.



TO BE CONTINUED








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